Ripple Effect

10

I let Dez pick the place and we ended up some random omelet house. As I pulled up to the parking lot I gave the building a mini inspection.

"Dez, the building is going to collapse." I motioned toward the beaten building. She shook her head in response and instructed me to get out of the car.

She walked toward the front door, outstretching her hand for me to hold. I took it instinctively and shivered as tingles erupted where our skin touched.

"You have to give it a chance." I watched her hair bounce with each step she took. "Old doesn't mean bad! Except for that theatre you took me to, that was bad." She added and I gritted my teeth trying not to laugh. I grumbled under my breath that it wasn't that awful, despite the fact that we both knew it was.

The inside reminded me of a little diner that you see in the movies, with the shiny red plastic seat covers and workers in little carhop uniforms. Our waitress led us to a secluded booth in the back corner and left to give us time to look the over the menu. I opened my menu only to have Dez reach over and slam it shut.

"Nope, I'm going to surprise you." She gave me a dimpled smile and propped her elbows up on the table.

"Please don't feed me something horrible." I groaned in protest even though I knew she would never. I just hated surprises, they made me anxious.

"You'll like it. Trust me." I do trust you, I wanted to say. I trusted her with every fiber in my body, which was strange, considering all that had happened. I shouldn't really trust her at all. Of course her losing her memory wasn't her fault, but I couldn't deny that it made us both unstable. Two screwed up people shouldn't be together.

"Dez -" I started, but our waitress returned to take our order.

"So, what can I get for you guys today?" I didn't pay attention to whatever Dez ordered for us, I was too caught up in all the doubts flooding back into my thoughts. What was I even doing here? I told myself from the beginning how this would end up and here I was giving myself false hope. I fiddled with the little salt shaker, avoiding eye contact. I could feel her eyes boring into me like lasers.

"Ashton?" I poured out a little pile of salt and attempted the balance the shaker on it's side.

"Hm?" The salt shaker kept falling and I huffed in frustration, still not wanting to look at her.

"Did I say something?" She brushed her fingertips against my arm.

"No. I just realized something." I mumbled, hoping that she would just drop it.

"What is it?" I sighed and gave up trying to balance the salt shaker and I brought my hands together in my lap. I raised my gaze to her eye level.

"It's just not going to work, Dez." Her eyebrows crinkled together and her mouth pressed together in a fine line. An expression of hurt and confusion crossed her face.

"Why are you being so sensitive? You can't possibly know by our second date whether or not it'll work, and anyways, I thought it was going pretty well." God I remember how much I hated hearing her get sassy and entitled. It was only cute when we weren't actually fighting.

"Sensitive?! You can't fucking come into my life again all of a sudden and expect me to be perfectly fine! In fact, I'm not fine at all!" I clenched my fists in my lap, trying to stay in control of myself.

"Lower your voice!" She hissed. It felt as if venom was coursing throughout my veins. 

"Don't tell me what to do! You forgot me! Everything we did means nothing to you. I will always know you better than you know me. The stuff that made you, you, it's gone! You forgot it. My Dez doesn't exist anymore she died in that fucking hospital bed." As the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. I wanted to shove them right back into my mouth and erase them from her mind.

We stared at each other for a few minutes. I sure as hell wasn't going to apologize for what I said. No one could tell me I was fucking wrong here. Dez tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked down at her lap before breaking the silence.

"Then it will be different for us. A new adventure." Everything was an adventure for her. I hated that she could be so the same but so different at the same time. I hated that she didn't know who she really was. I made her who she was.

"You're fucking insane." I mumbled under my breath and slouched into the booth. 

She just shrugged, closing the topic completely. I couldn't understand why she couldn't see that this would only turn out horribly for the both of us.

The waitress returned a few minutes later and set the food down in the center of us and I reached for my fork to dig in, hoping that I could just scarf down the food and get the hell out of here.

"We'll actually just have this to go, thanks." Dez called after the waiter before I could start eating. I set my fork back down and brought my hands into my lap, twiddling my thumbs. We waited in silence for her to return with the box.

Dez packaged the food and I got up to lead her out of the restaurant. She grasped the end of my shirt and I felt her tugging along behind me. It was such a nice gesture, even though I had upset her, she still wanted to be connected to me.

I made sure to open the car door for her and then I rounded the car and got in on my side. I turned on the ignition and let the car sit for a little bit, trying to think of something to say that could make up for me completely fucking up the experience.

"Anything else you wanted to do today?" She shook her head slightly and put her seatbelt on, not saying a word. 

"Okay, then I'll just take you home." I knew that my little outburst had completely killed our playful mood from earlier today and now she was sitting there, probably playing my words over and over again in her head, really letting them sink in. I turned on the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Dez rested her head against the window, avoiding any eye contact with me.

A/N: Sorry if this update sucked, it's kind of a filler before stuff can really start happening between them. They still need to get used to eachother, you know? Vote and comment I like knowing what you think, good or bad. It helps me improve (: