The Only Exception (Swan Queen)

Chapter 31

Once when I was running, from all that haunted me; to the dark I was succumbing – to what hurt unbearably. Searching for the one thing, that would set my sad soul free. In time I stumbled upon it, an inner calm and peace; and now I am beginning, to see and to believe, in who I am becoming – and all I've yet to become. Lang Leav, Self Love.

Regina woke up alone and couldn't help but frown when she saw the empty space in the bed. Last night was by far the best night of sleep she'd had since Emma left.

She turned around to look at the clock on her bedside table. 11:00am. Her eyes widened – she'd gotten over fourteen hours of sleep.

The door creaked opened, and she looked up to see the blonde lurking in the doorway.

Emma frowned. "I didn't want to wake you," she mumbled. She was still clad in the same t-shirt and panties as the night before and her hair was in a mess of blonde curls which made it clear that she hadn't been up for long.

"It's okay, Em."

The woman nodded before walking over and laid down next to her on the bed again. She wrapped her arms around her, pulling her against her once again.

Regina let out a soft sigh as she softened into the warm touch and rested her head on her shoulder. She couldn't help but cuddle into the blonde's neck taking in the old, familiar scent of her preferred perfume. She smiled. She must have brought a bottle with her.

Emma drew small shapes on her shoulder blade causing Regina to let out a soft, content sigh. She frowned. "You're still leaving though, aren't you?" she asked hesitantly. She knew she was giving herself false hope by asking, she knew she was grasping at straws that weren't there, but she couldn't help herself.

"I have to, Gina," she mumbled hesitantly.

Regina frowned as she felt tears begin to form in her eyes. Last night never should have happened! I should never have kissed her! She scolded herself over and over for her poor decisions. She knew it was only going to make it harder for her but she ignored her better judgement. She felt a tear escape and fall slowly down her cheek.

A hand cupped her cheek and a soft thumb gently rubbed her cheek. "You deserve so much better than me, Regina." Her cocoa eyes met her beautiful sea-green ones. "I've done so much to hurt you. I've put you through so much pain. You need someone who can give you the happiness you deserve," she explained, hurt and guilt spreading across her face with each word.

Regina bit her bottom lip. "So, everything that happened last night, the kiss, you said that you still loved me. Was that true?" she asked hesitantly. She didn't suspect Emma of lying to her, but she still wanted to make sure.

Emma placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and Regina couldn't help but lean into the touch. "I don't think I'll ever stop loving you," she whispered, biting her lower lip. "But you deserve someone better," she muttered. "You need someone better."

You are all I need. Regina thought to herself but refused to say it out loud.

She reluctantly pulled out of the blonde's warm embrace. "I'm gonna go take a shower. Henry will probably be back soon," she mumbled. Regina stared at the woman who had nothing but sadness across her face and quickly diverted her gaze. She stepped inside the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She let out all the tears that she had been trying her best to hold back, fall freely down her cheeks.

Why do I keep making this so hard for myself?

#

After what seemed like an excruciatingly long hot shower, Regina headed back to her bedroom with a towel wrapped around her body.

The room was empty. The bed was made with the red leather jacket placed back on its spot on the pillow. Emma's brown jacket was gone from the chair where it had been lying the night before.

Regina walked over to the window and gently pulled back a curtain.

Her Bug was gone. She was gone.

She swallowed the lump in the back of her throat as she staggered back slightly.

She was gone again. Once again, without a goodbye.

Regina pulled on some fresh clothes which consisted of a new pair of leggings and an old blue shirt. Her eyes wandered over to Emma's jacket. She walked over and ran her fingertips over the worn red leather. She sat down and picked it up, pressing it against her chest, taking in the smell. There was a fresh scent to it which she recognised instantly as the perfume Emma always wore.

She looked over to where it had been lying on the pillow and noticed a small bottle with a sticky note attached to it. She reached over and picked it up.

"I'm sorry, Gina." It read in Emma's beautiful handwriting.

Regina bit her lower lip as she stared at the half empty bottle of perfume. She placed the bottle on the bedside table and put the jacket back in its spot. She let out a soft sigh as a tear fell down her cheek.

I've lost her again.