Love Kills

Don't Lose Your Head

"I'll have some pancakes with extra bacon and a black coffee please." Colin shot his perfect smile at the waitress, a tired looking middle aged woman who just raised an eyebrow at him before turning to George.

"Erm... " The dirty lamps blinded him, the smells made him nauseous and it was like the whole world was pouring down his throat, entering his body. A wave of impressions that he couldn't seem to filter out. His skin was itching and he furiously started scratching himself, rocking back and forth. They would think he was crazy now, no, they would know it for sure. Coling would leave him, they would laugh or be angry at him. Then George felt Colin's hand holding his own and Colin's voice broke through his trail of thoughts.

"It's alright honey, take your time." They looked each other in the eyes, and George didn't have to explain anything, the stress was visible in his eyes.

"Just close your eyes George." George looked at him.

"Just close your eyes and breath in as long as you can, and then out as long as you can. Just do it, trust me." George closed his eyes and welcomed the dark blanket covering up the world, soothing some of the intense impressions. He breathed slowly and felt his heart calm down. He opened them and focused on the floor as he found his voice back.

"Erm, can I have some pancakes and tea please? Thank you," he finally managed to choke out. He breathed out in relief when the waitress left, he had been afraid that Colin would ask him what was wrong with him as people so often did. He did not want to overreact any more than he already did in front of the waitress. The last thing he needed was throwing a fit and ruining everything around him. Colin had been watching him worriedly the whole time. The boy seemed to be all he could concentrate on and he could not get him out of his head. How did he become this fragile? What had happened to him during his life? He had mentioned that his mother had been taken away from him, but Colin had no idea why.

Was it because of George's mental issues? Did his mother have mental issues as well? Maybe he hurt his mother? Colin wanted to ask him so many questions, but hesitated. He was already so upset and uncomfortable here, he didn't want to bother him any more than necessary. Eventually his curiosity got the better of him. Colin figured that talking might be a welcome distraction from the dirty breakfast bar.

"Hey George?"

"Yes?"

"You never told me why they took your mother away from you."

George thought about this for a while.

"You are right, I didn't."

Colin ignored George's way of speaking, he was getting used to his way of taking things literally.

"Do you mind telling me?"

"No, I..." George closed his eyes again. His thoughts went back to the day he had hid under the covers with his sister. Singing her the same song he had sang for Colin. He could smell his home again, the scent of sweat, alcohol, his sister on his lap and the part that was just the smell of home, a little bit that was unique, meant just for their house.

"My mother was shouting," he started.

"I don't remember why, but I did not like it and Annie did not like it, so she started crying. It wasn't the first time my mom shouted, she shouts other times as well, but this time was different."

"How so?"

"I don't know, but... the doorbell rang. Somebody had told on us, so now they came to get us. They had told about my mother shouting, told about my mother disappearing in the drinking. I tried to escape, but they were too many people at the door. They were all running and shouting and fighting to get us. They took it all. Took us all. I tried to run, to protect Annie, there was nothing I could do-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay. Everything will be alright, we will get her back, remember? We will get Annie back!" Colin actually meant the words as he said them. He had never been the caring guy, but George sounded so distressed and lost that his heart ached for him.

The waitress interrupted them as she arrived with their food and placed it in front of them.

"Oh my, how delicious this looks!" Colin exclaimed as he smiled brightly to the waitress. She just raised an eyebrow again and let out a "hmph" before leaving them to themselves again. The pancakes actually looked pretty appetizing and for a while they ate in silence.

"Drinking is not against the law."

George spoke so quietly Colin was unsure if he had imagined it until George spoke again.

"Shouting is not against the law. She did nothing wrong."

"The government is a piece of crap," Colin stated. When he stole another glance at the boy he was relieved to see a small smile on his face.

"Must have sucked to have an alcoholic as a mom," Colin said more seriously.

"Yeah well... I guess it was difficult sometimes, but she is my mother you know? And it was my home. The worst thing is that they took Annie away from me. It was more convenient for them that way. They said they had to, but nobody was forcing them, not like they forced me away from her. They said they had to, but it was just convenient that way. I have taken care of her since Annie was born, she needs me! They don't know Annie! They don't know anything. Annie does not like strangers, or loud noises, and they need to change her, and make sure she gets a good breakfast, she doesn't like juice, but milk is fine and if she does not get milk she will start crying later that day. And when changing her she does not like the camomile cream, it hurts her skin but I have- I had a cream for her..." George stopped talking and frowned in concern.

"I... I had a cream for nappy changing, but I don't have it anymore and, and she get red and itchy and I don't have the cream anymore! They took us and I forgot about the cream!"

When Colin opened his mouth, George expected him to say that everything would be fine, that he was being silly and that Annie's foster parents surely knew all this, but Colin just smiled.

"I think you are a hella good brother and Annie is lucky to have you."

George wanted to say something, but his throat was like a narrow tunnel, barely letting any air through.

"First thing after breakfast we go buy her nappy cream."