Love Kills

Keep Yourself Alive

Colin was pacing back and forth, back and forth in the tiny room, the browned, wooden floor squeaking with every step he made. George was laying sprawled out on the bed with his legs waving in the air. He had found a pen and notebook in the nightstand and was happily sketching away, now and then shooting a worried glance at Colin.

"Alright, talk to me, Colin," he finally said.

"What is there to say? I am going crazy of frustration and I feel like... I don't know how to fucking describe this! I feel like I'm going crazy! Like I'm depressed and like I'm desperate for something, all into one emotion. It is like I have given up of life and I am dead inside, but I am also full of energy and rage and I want to go for a run at the same time. It's coming for me, the crazy thoughts, the migraine in my head, the spiders under my skin, it is all coming for me like huge salty waves coming with the tide to destroy me like a sandcastle. I feel them crash against me and I just know they are going to win and I will melt down and disappear for you." The last words came out as a sob and Colin sank down on the bed at last, covering his face with his hands.

Carefully, George got up and crawled over to Colin. For once Colin looked vulnerable as his shoulders were shaking, his hands still covering his face.

"I'm sorry," Colin said with a broken voice. "I'm so sorry."

George leaned in until his chest brushed against Colin's shoulders and his lips were almost touching Colin's ear.

"It's okay," he whispered soothingly.

"It's okay Colin, you just need a distraction."

With that George kissed Colin's cheek before planting kisses on his jawline, making Colin remove his hands from his face. George kissed away the salty tears and connected their lips. George felt his heart beat faster as he, for the first time ever, took the initiative to guide Colin down on the bed and helped him take his clothes off.

***

"We're getting closer to the American border." Colin said it calmly, but the threat behind his words was serious.

"Do you think they will have found my foster parents by now?" George asked quietly.

Colin did not answer for a long time. He did not want to say the answer he had, but they would have to face the truth eventually.

"Probably."

"So what do we do? They will recognize me!"

Colin hesitated with answering again. He had thought about this for a while now, but he was afraid of George's reaction to his solution. There was no way they could get fake passports in time and borders were too heavily guarded to just speed-drive through. He could see only one other option.

"You will have to hide somewhere in the car. They're not looking for me, I will just act as if I'm traveling alone. There is no crime in me crossing the border. As long as you hide and keep quiet, they will never find you and as soon as we are over the border you can stop hiding."

George digested this for a while. It seemed reasonable enough, but then why was Colin so nervous?

"How will I hide?" He asked.

"There is a spot in the trunk, the place where normally the spare tire is, you know, in case one gets damaged, and normally there is a first aid kit and stuff there. It's not a large space, but when it's empty there should be space for a small person in there. "

"Would I fit in there?"

"I think so," Colin said, even though he looked a bit nervous. "You're quite small and I've had... people in there before."