I find myself consumed in sadness.
There is nothing I can do....my throat always feels dry preventing me from speaking.
I hate feeling this way but at the same time I enjoy it....
The feeling of absolute hopelessness seams to make me feel the most comfortable....
Im trying my own self therapy now... i hope you're proud of me
Look im cutting new wounds to let the old ones heal but im constantly picking at the scabs.
Is this whats expected of me?
Learning to suffer?
So many hands reach out to help me but im tied down my my memories so I just sink farther into the darkness.
But im afraid of being lost for so long that they all just eventually give up...
Im probaby making everyone tired...
Constantly bickering about how I feel...
No one cares and yet some people do at the moment...how much longer do I have to live?
A day?
A month?
Perhaps a year?
I want to know so that I can speed up the process....
Please forgive me for being the way I am....
I cant go to god to pray for forgiveness of my sins.
My life is already a living hell so why stop now?
I'll wake up and this will all just be a bad dream
That is...if I wake up at all....
