My Greatest Mistake

9. Lisa

Good things don't usually last for Cas.

It had been a normal morning. He had noted with muted interest that Billie was in class, which meant that the track team was back from their week-long retreat. By the time lunch rolled around, Cas was starving, and eager to see the people who had quickly become his friends. It had been three lunches, but already Cas felt more at home with these people than he did with his own family sometimes. 

Then there was Dean. Dean, with his smiling green eyes. Dean, with his infectious smile. Dean, with his uncanny ability to sense when Cas was in distress, and his inability to not help out. Dean was perfect, to Cas, and his imperfections only made him more so. He was kind, and generous, and cared intrinsically for others; he would stand up for the little guys in a heartbeat and without thought; he was driven and hardworking, motivated and stubborn. He loved his brother with all his heart. He loved his friends with all his heart. Dean Winchester had irrevocably wormed his way into Cas's life, and Cas found he couldn't be more pleased about it. Dean had quickly become his closest friend - someone he could tell everything to.

Not everything, reminded the little voice inside Cas's head. You know you can't tell him everything. You know what would happen. Cas quickly shoved that voice down and away, but he couldn't help the nagging doubt that remained. This doubt was only intensified when Cas reached the lunch table.

There, by Dean's side, where Cas would usually sit, was a girl, clinging to Dean's arm and looking up at him with adoration. As Cas watched, Dean turned to face her, his face split wide with a grin that rivalled the sun in it's brilliance. Cas felt the pit in his stomach grow.

"Cas!" Anna called to him from the opposite side of the table, "Come sit with me!" Numbly, Cas moved to sit beside her, shifting Kevin's papers aside with a muttered apology. There was something hardening in his chest that he couldn't quite explain, but he tried his best to ignore it as he took his lunch from his bag.

"Oh, Cas," piped up Dean, who, Cas noted bitterly, had finally tore his eyes away from the girl. "You know Lisa Braeden, right?"

"We had World History together last semester," Lisa offered with a smile. Her smile was as bright as Dean's, and Cas kicked himself for being so petty and childish. His friend was happy. He should be happy for him.

But why does he have to be happy with her?

"Oh, ye-yeah," Cas answered, "You sat a few rows in front of me?"

"Yeah!" Lisa's smile grew wider. "Thanks for keeping Dean company while I was gone, by the way. I was worried no one else would be able to keep his ego in check!"

"Oh don't worry," Jo chimed in, "from the first day we met him Cas provided opportunity after opportunity to embarrass your boyfriend. He was our saving grace."

Boyfriend? 

In an instant, Cas was transported back to all the times he had seen Dean before they talked. In almost every moment, there had been a small, dark-haired girl laughing beside him. Lisa. Dean's girlfriend. The pit that was in Cas's stomach flew up to his throat, and, not hungry anymore, he put his food back into his bag.

***

It had been a week since Lisa had come back, and day after day, Cas told himself that this time would be better - that this time it would be easy to ignore the way Dean's arm curled around her shoulder, or how she nuzzled into his side, or how his face would brighten the instant she entered the room. Except every time, it got worse. Every smile, every laugh, every joke and jab and point of physical contact made Cas feel vaguely nauseous. He told himself he was sick. He told himself he ate some funny food, or that he was still getting used to Lisa, and that soon they would become friends. He told himself every lie possible to avoid admitting the truth he refused to realize.

It wasn't Lisa's fault, it really wasn't. She was kind, and sensitive, and she called Dean out on his shit, which everyone was grateful for. She made him happy. He made her happy. Cas was happy for them - Dean was still his friend, and Lisa had been nothing but nice. Yet Cas could not shake the feeling that soon, he would be gone. Soon, Dean would forget about him. Soon, Cas would go back to being the nobody, only now he'd politely smile and nod at the people who had been his friends for one glorious blip in time.

But math was starting, and Cas couldn't afford to be distracted the day before the test. So he sucked it up. He listened and took notes diligently; put his head down and did his work; pointedly ignored Dean when he tried to stir the pot. Cas was a model student. But in reality, he was just trying to ignore the fact that lunch was starting in ten minutes, and he would once again have to face the happy couple.

||A/N: Bit of a shorter one this time, but look! Plot! The story actually has meaning! It's a miracle!

More on Cas's "good things don't usually last" later....

Also I would like to formally apologize for how late this chapter is. I had concerts, and then finals, and then I applied for jobs, and ugh, life has been busy.

Thanks for reading!