complicated

For as long as I can remember, I've had a very cynical view when it comes to love. I'm sure at one point I was in love with the idea of love, and how wonderful it is. Every child does. I swooned over Disney Princes, daydreamed about the days when I would find the perfect boy for me.

I came up with countless scenarios of how it could happen, and they were all cliches. I thought that it would be easy, falling in love. When you think about it, you realize it is. There isn't anything hard about meeting someone that you believe is right for you, and having them feel the same way. I mean sure, actually finding that person can take a while. But there isn't anything "hard" about it. When it finally happens, it seems like magic. For awhile everything is great. Then something happens, something always gets in the way of all of those shiny, bright, beautiful feelings. For my parents, it was cheating. For someone else relationship, it might just be that someones feelings fade away. No matter what it is, someone will usually end up hurt, slightly more broken than they were before.

So you can see, falling in love isn't the problem. Staying in love is.

My parents broken marriage might have something to do with the fact that I have such a negative idealogy on the subject of love. However, they are just one of many couples that I have seen ruined by it. 

That isn't to say that I have no interest in talking or dating any boys at all. I'm just always careful, and I always make sure my guard is up. It's easier than it sounds. Most 19 or 20 year old boys have no desire to be in a serious relationship anyways, so just hooking up a few times is perfect to them. See? It's simple.

Although sometimes, I can't help but crave more than just a fleeting fling.