I cant take it anymore

The razor

Sam? Sam? It's already 8:OO am you got to get up! My mum was shouting.

I threw on a black floral skirt with a white singlet, Put on some mascara and ran down stairs.

I saw my mum smiling at me with toast and a cup of tea awaiting me. Are you excited for school sweetie? I replied " yes! I can't wait to make new friends".

The bell rang! I entered my class to see everyone staring. I pulled up a chair and blended in.

"Hi everyone I'm Sam" I said smiling with confidence. Everyone smiled back. It was the best feeling in the world to be starting fresh at a new school.

The bell rang! it was time for lunch. I walked into the cafeteria only to see everyone starring, whispering under each others breathe. I was so nervous I didn't know where to sit. I looked over to see a girl smiling at me. I walked over and sat down.

"Hi my names amy" she said politely. I smiled and replied "hi I'm Sam I'm new here". She smiled back and we began to eat.

The bell rang! it was time for the last lesson. I walked into class. "you must be Sam" the teacher said. " yeah that's me I replied while smiling.

I saw amy, "thank god" I whispered under my breathe. I sat in a desk next to her and began working.

"Ew, that's her",I heard quietly. I turned around to see two girls. they were like Barbie dolls. They each had a tight dress on and makeup caked on there face. As I turned back around they started to laugh. my gut dropped saying to my self "please no, not again".

After class it was time to go home.

I opened the front door and screamed " mum I'm home" "how was school sweetie" she said as she walked over to me and gave me a big hug. It was really good. my mum was in shock of my reply she was just so happy.

The next day I walked into school with excitement to start another day . everyone was still starring at me, I was confused. I went to my locker to get some books for my first lesson. A girl came over and said "your the cutter". she walked away in tears from laughing so hard.

My gut just dropped. it was out again everyone new. I had tears rush down my face. I regretted everything. I used to cut. I was bullied last year and didn't cope well.

I ran into the bathroom crying. luckily it was time to go home. I quickly ran home so I didn't see anyone.

I raced inside and up the stairs. "how was school sweetie" me mum shouted. I sniffed and took a deep breathe "good mum" I replied with. I lied.

I logged on the computer to check face book. I hate girls that post skimpy photos. I kept scrolling down. I fell off my chair. someone had put up a photo of my arms when I used to cut.

It was like I was paralysed. I didn't know what to do. I decided to ignore it, shut down my computer and go to sleep.

Sam! Sam! Your late for school I heard my mum yell. I quickly ran down stairs and into the car.

I got to school so nervous. this was my first time going to school late. my teacher was away today thank god, we had some old lady.

As I forwarded into class I took a seat up the back. I pulled out my book only to hear people randomly calling out " your a cutter". I froze, were they talking to me?

I looked up and someone gave me a note and sat straight back down. i opened it up only to see a drawing of a depressed girl with cuts on her arm.

I couldn't take it. it was my 3rd day of high school and I'm already giving up.

I ran into the bathroom, mascara running down my face. I went into a cubicle and slammed the door.

I sat there all day crying. the bell finally rang to go home.

I ran home, ran up stairs and cried.

I had messages pop up on my phone later that night "slut", "whore" , nobody likes emos,"cutter".

I was broken. I ran into the shower and just stood there crying. there it was. my razor was sitting there. it was shining from the light. I held it in my hand. I squeezed it with power, more and more tears bringing back the past.

I held the razor against my wrist.

This was my first time writing so please don't judge. tune in for more :3 x