March 1, 2014
Dear friend,
Hi I'm Julian and You probably don't know who I am. Oh no wait.. Actually you do.. I'm that guy you're always calling a duchebag to because I pointed out that one time when it looked like you had a boner In your shorts but it was actually your tampon.. And I wanted to apologize for me being the reason why people call you "boner tamp".. But anyways I just finished reading this cool book called "The Perks Of Being A Wallflower." It was a really good book and I kinda got the inspiration to write to you because of that book.
I'm honestly writing these letters to you to annoy you with my shitty life. Well not really I'm actually doing it because I want you to know more about me and know how I'm not a "duchebag" or a "dick."
Well anyways yesterday me and my friend Jack were bored and we really didn't have anything to do.. So we sneaked out and crashed this bonfire at the beach. It got pretty wild.. Well for jack not me ha. Jack was drinking and I didn't really want to drink so I didn't. And I was actually talking with one of the girls there her name was Payton and Payton was really pretty she had dark brown hair with beautiful blue eyes. she also had a beautiful smile. But the problem was the bitch was lesbian. And I couldn't really hook up with her but anyway we had fun until Jack decided to take a swim. He was drunk as fuck and he just ran into the water and started drowning. He was so drunk he put seaweed in his hair and some corals he found in the shore in his chest and started singing
"UP WHERE THEY WALK, UP WHERE THEY RUN, UP WHERE THEY STAY ALL DAY IN THE SUNNN WISH I COULD BE PART OF THAT WOOOOOORLD."
And then someone yelled out
"SHUT THE FUCK UP ARIEL"
Then luckily a big wave came and flushed him further out into the water and that's when he started drowning and my sorry ass had to save him.
He was choking up some water and he kept vomiting sand and water that we had to call an ambulance. When the ambulance arrived they just stuck their finger in his throat to the point he threw up all the sand and water and alcohol and then they left. Did I mention the ambulance called my mom and she had to come and pick us up. And you know where this all leads up to. Me grounded. For a saving a fucking life. Damn my parents are so unappreciative and so judge mental. Like bitch. Appreciate and thank me for saving a bastards life.
Anyways Another reason why I'm writing to you is because i got my phone taken away and my xbox and all my electronics disconnected. So all I can do is write. Oh and I'm writing to you every 5 days.
