remember that you're mine {joshler}

xviii. you went out every night and baby that's alright

a/n: tw// v*miting (why am i like this) and some cuts/scars/bruises are described (also food mentioned quite a bit !!)

When Tyler awakens the next day his head is still spinning, almost worse than before and he thinks for one brief disorientated minute that he might be on a boat. But then the obnoxious churn in his stomach makes him almost violently rip his limbs from where they're fiercely, protectively wrapped around Josh, their bare skin searing hot and stuck together, it rips away almost like Velcro, just as violently waking Josh. Tyler doesn't have time to apologise as he's kicking off the covers and staggering, knocking his hip into the doorframe, into the bathroom. Josh winces as his mind comes-to to the sound of Tyler being aggressively ill into the toilet bowl.

Groaning Tyler flushes weakly and then wills the spinning to stop as he rests his cheek against the seat, enjoying the way it cools his hot skin. So maybe half a bottle of neat vodka on an empty stomach before bed wasn't such a good idea... but he hadn't felt that bad when he'd got into bed, maybe a little clumsy and numb and everything felt like it was under a film or a lens that allowed it to seem softer and easier to approach, but not bad.

Slowly his conversations from last night returned to him, the fragility of Josh's voice as he'd made sure Tyler understood how much he meant to him. The fire in Mark's eyes as he'd promised to help, or was that just a reflection of something, oh of course, he remembers now.

He flinches almost violently when Mark's words echo through his skull,

"Don't leave again. Josh needs you."

He finds himself turning his head as much as his shaking body allows so he can throw up again, this is agony. No, a voice in his head tells him, it's karma.

He hears the awkward padding of feet and jagged heavy breathing, obviously moving with great effort before a soft cool hand is on the back of his neck. He shivers before turning his head to look up, cheek smushed into the seat once again. He tries to lift his hand but Josh beats him to it, flushing the toilet on his behalf.

"It's not good to sit that close to the toilet when it flushes." He says, his morning voice like velvet when rubbed the wrong way. Tyler just lets his body flop down onto the floor, curling into a ball, he relishes the way the tiled floor is cooler than the toilet seat.

With small whimper of pain, Josh sits beside him, a hand gently rubbing along Tyler's protruding spine, fingertips tracing out the bumps and ridges.

"I suck." Tyler mumbles out. Josh makes a noise of confusion, quirking an eyebrow. "I wanted to take care of you but instead you're still looking after me." His voice is slightly slurred from how much excess spit is in his mouth and he almost wants to throw up again with the effort it takes to produce sound.

"Ty," Josh scoots a little closer so he can stroke hair off Tyler's face. "You've taken care of me, I'm just repaying the favour today. Not everything has to be a competition to see who can love the other more, it's a give and take -you take care of me and I take care of you. It's called 'looking out for each other', it's what love looks like to normal people." Josh laughs a little at the last bit and Tyler can't help but try a weak smile of his own.

"I adore you." Tyler says back, grabbing at Josh's hand that's been stroking through his hair, squeezing it. He smacks his lips, and pushes himself into a sitting position before forcing himself to stand. Immediately he pours himself a cup of water from the sink and chugs it. He pours a second, passing it down to where Josh is still sat against the wall.

Tyler is halfway through brushing his teeth when Josh stands, Tyler pausing to help him up. Then he's holding up a finger in silent indication for Josh to wait. He scrabbles through the cabinet under the sink before retrieving what he's looking for. He stands triumphantly holding out the packaging, quickly spitting the toothpaste and spit that's built up in his mouth before rinsing. Then he's ripping off the plastic wrapping and placing the green toothbrush into Josh's palm with a smile.