I question if people use me most of the time, most people who have are down with me and throw me away because at that point I'm useless, worthless, and expect what? Me to cheer myself up. Never have I ever cheered myself up, never, not even as a kid. I expect nothing from you, so don't expect me to do something nearly incomprehensible. It just leaves me in awe and confusion, how can someone just like me...treat me the opposite of how I treat them. I realized they weren't like me, but different. Didn't do what I do, did disgusting things when all I did was make sure she never did that. When I was there no one was ever hurt, I'd risk everything to save that person, when they leave me like fatty waste and toss me to the dogs. Never showing sympathy as if I were a simple crumb to flick away and forget it's existence in the next millisecond. Brutal punishment to everyone is being ignored and worse being invisible, invisible not meaning to not be seen but to clear your mind; that is what they feared the most. Not because it's scary, which yes it is, but because they were scared of what they'd say. Once you clear your mind you could say anything from nice to rude, mean to kind, and sympathetic to a complete sociopath. Think of this before any action you do could harm someone or yourself.
When people do this to me I just feel straight up used, garbage. I'm always a second choice for her but now that she left me, I feel....relief ^-^. I have my best friend who loves me and cares for me, my boyfriend who loves me more than a cup of coffee, and I'm just enjoying life to the fullest. I know something will bring me down again, but we'll see if I go down or I barely make it.
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Non-FictionOi, it's Raven! I'm just writing this book if I ever get tagged, it's someone's special day, or if I just need to write something of what mental state I'm in. Enjoy I guess, and warning to people who cry easily or try hiding it. ^-^ thank you!
