I know despite who I am to you and what I have done, I will always be the second choice. Doesn't matter who I am, doesn't matter how I've helped you, but despite it all I'm always second. I wish I was more than what I really am.
I'm truly nothing. Nothing. I miss you so much, but do you really miss me? I'm just there, you know, I'm visible when I'm needed to everyone but you, but, like everyone, I'm your second choice. Without you, I feel really depressed, I feel like someone is scraping my heart and soul with their hands, I feel like I could drown in my tears.
Sometimes, I believe you hate me. I say this because it seems you barely want to talk, but I always say to myself," he's busy." I believe you're irritated with me, me depressed 24/7 is annoying, that's mostly why everyone leaves me, or it's just my clingy personality. My dependent issue just messes up my brain, making it test people like "hey, there's these issues, still want her?" I hate it so much..
And here I am at 1AM, missing you, wanting to cry, and knowing I was second. So you're wrong, I'm not first, I don't help or motivate you, I'm just...why am I even here? I'm practically useless, and only used to get yelled at, so why am I here...? Just, make it stop. Please. Someone.
YOU ARE READING
Mentions
Non-FictionOi, it's Raven! I'm just writing this book if I ever get tagged, it's someone's special day, or if I just need to write something of what mental state I'm in. Enjoy I guess, and warning to people who cry easily or try hiding it. ^-^ thank you!
