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March 7th | 2013

March 7th | 2013

Fuck it. Fuck Fuck Fuck. Fuck it. I mean... Oh fuck.

Hello diary, no I'm not going to be sweet today. Ugh. I'm just so mad and confused. And fucking scared, to be honest. Oh God. I'm so lucky that my mum doesn't get to read this journal. She'd be so angry with me because of all the cursing  and stuff but seriously, I'm so fucked up.

I mean, the trip has been amazing. I still can't believe I got to visit France. Toulouse was just beautiful, the beach was spectacular and we spent the most wonderful week in Paris. We even managed to drag Liam to the Louvre five days in a row.  I'm terribly sad that we have to return home, even though I miss my mum and Gems a lot. But I don't really want to go... or well... maybe yes because...

Can't I be more stupid, can I?

I just... Okay I'll explain myself. (I'll try I least)

We had just finished packing... (By this point I should probably tell you that right now we're on the plane. Liam is sound sleep by my side and I think Lou is playing some dumb game in his phone. Flappy Bird I think? Oh well...) We had just finished packing when I started complaining about my long hair. The thing was starting to get serious having in count that some strands of hair were getting in my eyes constantly. Whatever. I was just saying that I wanted to have it cut a little when Louis just shout out of the blue (as he usually does) that he could cut it "and for free!".

So I basically  told him that it was okay if he wanted to and we locked ourselves in the bathroom, scissors in Louis' hands and my mind already quiestioning if this was a good idea at all. I can remember perfectly Liam's face when we told him our plan, both eyebrows almost touching his haird and eyes wide, wide open. 

Luckily the cut went perfectly. Now I can see properly and we finally beat Liam on something. But that's not the important thing.

The thing is... Fuck.

When Louis was cutting my hair he was standing just in front of me, his back facing the mirror and his big blue eyes focused on the top of my head. I could feel the warmth of his body and his tinny little hands moving above my forehead. We were almost in compete silence. Louis would say some silly joke when he noticed that I was getting nervous and I laughed at the way he bit his lip when he was concentrated. But other than that we were quiet.

Suddenly I found myself staring directly at him. And it hit me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss Louis so fucking much that it takes me everything I have to hold myself. Because, damn, his lips were just so... so... well, kissable.

And it wasn't just the idea of kiss him. I could feel every part of my body pulling me ahead. My heart started beating so fast that I was actually scared that Louis would be able to listen to it. And then I froze. Louis finished the cut and it looked great. We finished packing and went to the airport and now I'm here and I'm so screwed.

I don't even know what's going on with me... Like... Me? Wanting to kiss Louis? We've only become close friends a few months ago and I don't want him to be anything more. Or maybe I want? No, fuck. Forget that. I don't. I don't. I don't.

And anyway, I've never liked a boy before? Sure, I've always thought that some guys were handsome but I've kissed girls several times! I've even had a girlfriend! I can't like Louis now, can I? 

--

Oh, sorry. The flight attendant brought us our dinner and we had to woke Liam up and then Louis started telling us a story about his sisters pulling a joke to their step dad and how all the living room ended covered with blue painting.

Well, talking about the previous topic ||Side note: I mean, Louis btw || maybe I'm just over reacting. You know? Maybe I'm just confused and it was nothing, just a thing of the moment or something like that. I don't know.... I better go to sleep before I get a headache.

I'm still confused, though.

I'll write later I think.

Harry.

[A/N]

hello!

Well, this is kind of the first 'chapter' of this story. Hope you liked it? haha

This is goig to be my very first story full written in English so I'm a bit nervous about it. It's quite informal wich makes me a lot less anxious about how good my writing is, but I'm still aware that I possibly have a lot of mistakes. If you spot any please, tell me! [In the most nice way possible, please] My mother tongue is Spanish and sometimes I make stupid mistakes mixing both languages. Have mercy, please!

Ok. Every chapter is going to be an entry from Harry's journal. I'm pretty sure they're all going to in chronological order but... who knows?

You can take this as a kinf of prologue. I hope you like the idea of the story and tell me what you think about it. I'll post next chapter soon (and even sooner if I see comments or votes :P )

Sorry fot the long author note, thank you so much for reading.

Love, florgi