One More Time

Chapter 29

"I love you." I whispered as he became invisible to me. I felt a tear fall down my cheek but quickly wiped it with my sweater sleeve on the heel of my hand. I slowly turned and walked outside, getting in the taxi quickly. He drove me back home as I strived to fight tears. 

I walked into the building, taking the slow elevator ride up to my flat. 

I sat on the couch, then laid down, my back pushing into the cushion. I sighed as more tears fell on my no-longer-dry cheeks. 

Should I be worried that he didn't tell me he loved me? No. Right? For god's sake, I have this boy's name tattooed on my shoulder. And we've been in too many fights, to go through that again. I hope. 

I sighed again. The salty thin liquid continued falling down my cheeks, and a whimper from my lips. Kelsey walked in, holding a box of tissues. "Hey Taylor..." She trailed off, setting the tissues next to me.

I looked up, wiping my wet face. "Hey." I managed. 

"You okay?" She sat at my feet. 

I shook my head. I used my thumb to wiped my eyes. 

"Wanna talk about it?" 

I shook my head again. "There's nothing to talk about."  He was gone. Probably on his way to America now. "He's gone." I rolled over, burying my face in a pillow. 

"I know. Lou's gone too." 

"It's different, Kelsey." my voice was muffled by the pillow.

"How?" 

"Our relationship..." I paused. "Is... fragile."  I sat up. "Do you know how many times.. we've fallen apart? It's hard." I hugged my knees to my chest. "What if I'm not okay.. I mean.. like- ugh. What if he thinks I... I dunno-found someone else. Or what if he finds someone else?" I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from crying.

"Taylor, he loves you, you need to trust him." She stood.

I sighed and walked onto the balcony to clear my mind. It was almost warm, almost spring. I wanted more than anything right now for Niall to be here to hold me. His strong, warm, arms. I think i just mentally slapped myself. I need to stop doing this. Hes gone. That's it. Nothing else I can do 

From out here I could barely hear the muffled sounds of the TV. But something about a jail breakout? I dunno. I walked back inside. 

"Im going out." Kelsey said as she grabbed her purse. 

"Okay." I sat back on the couch, tuning the channel to something but the news. I missed him too much already. I shouldn't, but I do. I mean, it makes sense. Anyway. 

Stand up and get your shit together. I sighed and walked to my room. I took off my baggy shirt and shorts and put on jeans and and a flowy white tank-top. I am going shopping. Something to get my mind off him, right? Right. 

I grabbed my purse and walked out the door. 

~~~

As I pulled into the mall parking lot, I sighed. I unlocked the car doors and got out. I walked in, not knowing where to go. I glanced into Delia's seeing the pictures of me pretending to have the time of my life. I laughed softly to myself. 

The one thing Niall hates about my modeling, is when I modeled for Hollister. I had to pose, in a bikini, with a rather muscular guy. They airbrushed my tattoos away because they wanted me for my figure.. I think that's what they said. 

He knows he doesn't need to be jealous. Dammit. I'm making myself sad. The picture was one of those wind-through-the-hair pictures. My hand resting on a model-whose-name-i-cant-remeber's chest. I was vacantly looking at the camera. I laughed again. How stupid could it get? 

I looked to my right, seeing a giant One Direction dedicated store. When did that get there? I sighed. Maybe now isnt a good shopping time. No, I need an outfit for the concert in almost 9 freaking months. He was gonna miss our 2 year anniversary. Yay. 

I walked into multiple stores before I found an outfit. 

Most days were spent, on my laptop, watching tv, doing a modeling shoot, or going to the gym. And yes eating. I promised didn't I? 

~~those 9 freaking months spent doing boring things later~ 

I awoke and hit my alarm clock with my palm and folded my pillow over my ears. I opened my eyes to look at my alarm clock again. The date. The date. Today! The concert is to-freaking-day. I sat up and screamed out of pure excitement. 

Kelsey ran it, her hair messy, probably just woke up. "What the fuck Taylor! Are you giving birth?' 

"No. No no no no. It's today!" I jumped up and grabbed her hands, spinning around. "Its concert day!" 

"Calm down Anna." She rolled her eyes. I laughed, glad she got my Frozen reference. 

"Fine, but come ooon you must be excited." 

"I am, definitely."she nodded "wow, have you seen yourself?" She asked. I looked down. Being ever-so-classy, I was in a sport bra, and shorts. 

"What about me?" 

"So... Healthy...and you...have abs." She poked my stomach. 

"Yeah, I've been going to the gym, where have you been? And I did promise. " I shoved her hand off. I couldn't stop smiling. I looked in my mirror though. "Err..." I groaned looking at my light brown hair in a messy ponytail. I walked to my bathroom. I picked up my hairbrush, took out my hair, brushed it, and put it back up. 

"I don't wanna put a shirt on.. But I should." I groaned. Kelsey laughed and walked out, closing the door behind her. I changed my bra, because... ew. And pulled on a red, shiny, tank-top. Then white denim shorts. I smiled at my choice and added my black converse to the mix. 

I got a text. 'At the arena waiting for tonight.' I smiled as I read it. I grabbed my keys off my bureau. I opened my door, then down the stairs. 

"You look nice." Kelsey said from the couch.

"Oh its nothing." I shook my head. "But I've got a surprise I have to deliver, so I'll be back soon." I glanced out the window. You could see the O2 Arena from here. I grinned and walked out the door.