One More Time

Chapter 40

~Niall's POV~

4 days of trying. So hard. I'm trying to remember for her but it seems impossible.

She told me of our fights. Of what Zayn did. But that everything resolved itself. She told me now we met. And our first dates. And everything.

She's so... Pretty. And kind. She's so caring and I try to be the same in return. But I hardly know her. I hardly know her and yet I always have an overwhelming urge to kiss her. And I've noticed something about her. Not all of the things we do are that important. To me. But every second of her life seems to be important to Taylor. It's amazing, like she lives life like she could die the next day. As if she's died already and wants to make sure every second is great unless it happens again. But she's so young, so why does she do that?

Okay... Today, we are closet cleaning. She said it was a mess, and it was. We had boxes of pictures and her old clothes. Her and Kelsey's, actually. Who I was told now lives with Louis.

I was getting another box while Taylor sorted through one in the living room. I picked up a box and put it back down, to look at a picture in it. I picked up the picture and stared down at it intently.

It was a picture of Taylor, laughing and smiling on the back of a dark-shaggy haired, teenage boy.

I started feeling this... Emotion, bubbling inside of me. I looked at she next picture. They were kissing. Was this..... Jealousy?

I walked to Where she was and she looked up at me, smiling. "Hey." She said.

"Who's this?" I asked, holding up the picture. I licked and bit my bottom lip.

Her happy face immediately dropped. It slowly turned pale. "Where'd you find that?" She asked, trying to grab it from my hand but I held it up.

"Who is it?" I asked again.

"Damian." She said. She took a deep breath. "My ex boyfriend." She turned her back to me and leaned on her kitchen counter.

"What happened with him?" I put the pictures down and walked to her.

"He abused me, then k-kidnapped and t-tortured me.. And at one of y-your concerts he... He kidnapped m-me again. And sh-shot me. " she said softly, stuttering. Which I have picked up she does when she's nervous. Obviously this topic was a sensitive one. "I-I died for like... 5 minutes that day..." Her voice shook, on the verge of breaking.

"I... I didn't know." I whispered

"I know... You don't know." She said more sharply. "You don't know anything and it's all my fault." She turned to face me. "It's all my fault you don't even remember me-" she cut herself off when her voice broke and she walked up the stairs quickly and to her room, slamming the door.

I quickly pulled myself together and ran after her. "Taylor!" I called. I didn't know of she was mad or falling apart. "Taylor it's not your fault.." I said as I walked to her... Our... Room door. I tried to open if but she had locked it. I wanted to hold her, and comfort her and let her know she didn't cause this. "Please let me in." I begged. "Please..."

The door opened slowly but she would look me in the eye. "Taylor." I said quickly and stalled over to her and pulled her to my chest. I could feel her shaking sobs against me. "It's not your fault. I did something awful and you were just trying to stop me." I whispered as I stroked her hair softly.

She pulled out of my arms. "But it's hard, living with you here, knowing you don't feel the same way as I do..." She said softly. I placed my hands on her cheeks, wiping her tears with my thumbs.

But I couldn't contain the urge and my instincts took over. I brought my lips to hers for a few seconds then pulled away.

She looked utterly shocked. "B-but you.."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't've done that..." I scratched the back of my neck nervously.

She pushed past me. "I should get the rest of the boxes." She mumbled as she walked downstairs. I sighed and decided to try and forget it. She ignored me as she cleaned the closet some more.

We finished organizing and throwing things out but I just... I can't stop feeling so guilty.