V A C A N T ; Justlex

hiraeth

The atmosphere in the house went through extreme fluctuations of temperature of as soon as they both stepped into the bleach blonde boy's house. The air was muted and they simply didnt do anything for a while. Until the blinking of two eyes and the voice of a liar broke the stained glass known as air.

"Sorry to pull this shit on you, Alex. I sincerely lost the key to my apartment. Thank you for letting me in though."
His voice was cordial, showing none of what he was actually feeling or thinking of.

He doesnt have an apartment.

Alex knew this, for a fact. For once in the hallways he had observed Jessica speaking to the brunette, asking to come over to his house. The younger boy had felt the envy explode inside his stomach. Justin had averted his eyes and murmured something. His excuses never stayed the same, changing so often Alex couldn't even name one for you.

Justin doesnt own an apartment. He owns bruises colors of mold and sky blue, the pain cut into his face, and eyes bursting with fever dreams. He owns brown hair the color of a mouse, just ever so curly, and stunning ocean-blue eyes. Justin owns the vines of dark dijon weeds that smell like burnt mustard and twist up from his feet to his neck, curling over his ears and eyes, blocking out the cruelty of his situation.

Alex didnt blame him. The older boy owned not a drop of weed-killer, after all.

All Alex owned was the fat writhing under his skin and the senseless blood that wanted to explode out of every single pore.

"Its all good, man."

Alex knew the crack in the middle of his sentence gave it away. His voice was so fucking fake, he knew it wasn't fooling the body standing in front of him. Was he even trying too, though? Alexs brain never was good at making decisions.

OBVIOUSLY.

Justin uncomfortably shifted his weight from his left foot to his right. Alex simply stood, lightly twitching his legs as a subtle way to destroy the energy inside of him. One of them had to break this tense silence, thick as glaciers and colder than snow. The flakes were descending onto their heads and smothering them.

Justin gave him another hoax smile, said a few words that werent all that important. They started with thank and ended with you.

They wandered in circles inside the house of ice for what felt like decades. The kitchen ended up being their final destination, marked with a glittering blood stained X.  Justin decided it was dinner time. Alex decided he had eaten earlier. He didnt state that it was just air and doubt he had intaken in the past few hours. The smell of food was polluting his clear and focused mind.

Get away get away GET THE FUCK AWAY.

Alex wasnt sure if this was directed at Justin or himself. He couldnt just leave the brunette alone in his kitchen with no explanation, however. He sat there, still as stone, trying to only breathe through his mouth. In and out, inhale air, exhale poison. This seemed to work. Until the brunette temptingly shoved part of grilled cheese in Alexs direction. This was not planned for.

"C'mon man, you sure you don't want any?"

"No thank you."
Is what slid too quickly out of his mouth, mind almost bullying him into acceptance. He wouldnt, no, couldnt let this destroy his perfect streak. It had been almost 12 hours since he let any sin enter his cracked porcelain body. He aimed for at least 24 hours. A singular day. Then maybe he'd feel okay, lose that last pound. His heart shuddered.

Justin shrugged, a grunt of disbelief escaping his mouth and some suspicion radiating off of his slightly tanned skin. Nevertheless, the brunette continued scarfing down his grilled cheese, trying not to think of the willowy boy seated across from him, whose pale hands clasped so tightly together they were turning ever whiter.

"Are you ready to go upstairs, already?" Alex's leg twitched up and down, up and down, always up and down. It was tiring, but hey, it burned more calories.

"Let me fuckin finish eating, Jesus fucking Christ Alex. Whats up your ass today?"

"Not you."

Alex snorted in reply, shifting his head back and forth just to hear the bones in his neck crack. He hoped he would be lucky enough to have a stroke. Except not in front of Justin. His mind passively pondered why he even cared if the brunette saw.

The smell of butter and cheese and all things unholy was making the blond short-wire on the inside. His heart quickened from its normal bradycardiac pace, blood boiling and body rebelling. Alex shot out of his seat as soon as the plastic plate in front of him was cleared by a boy who actually followed his hunger-cues. He chucked it into the recycle bin, because save the fucking earth, right?   It really didnt matter in the end, everyone and everything was rotting inside. No matter how hard they tried to save this world, there was always someone who would throw more trash onto it, spill more oil into the water.

"Cmon, Justin, up we go since you couldn't shut up about going upstairs a few minutes ago."

There was a delay before a response flew out the brunettes mouth, halfway up the stairs.

"Oh, fuck you, Standall. Also, that was you."

"No thanks Foley, you're not man enough."

Alex snorted, not replying to the second half of Justin's comment and Justin let out a half laugh, half cough as they reached the top of the stairs. That noise put a standstill on the humor the blonde was feeling. The cough was most likely caused by the bruises splattering the outside of the older boys throat, probably deep within it too.

They paused at the very top of the stairs, stalling near the cream and grey walls.

What a beautiful color combination, what a calm mixture, is what both of them thought, and the walls stared back. The boys couldn't help looking between each other, tired thoughts flickering like a candle about to go out. Never did their glances meet. Both wondered about what secrets the other was hiding, buried beneath their skin like poisonous venom.

Talking is so overrated.

A few meters into the icy hot hallway, there stood a blank door in which theyd soon enter. The carpet on the ground leading to it was layered with undisclosed words, bleach, tears, and small slivers of sharp silver metal.

Justin glanced over at Alex, throwing him a sincere, small smile.

Alex almost gave one back.