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chapter 4

J I S O O P O V

i began to feel anxious when mom came to school today for a 'personal matter' to discuss with me. it was just 1 pm, the ladies at the office called me in somewhat during lunch to inform me about mother calling in for an emergency.

heading towards the administration office, i was greeted with my mom dressed formally yet revealing in a black tight bodice dress with a v line to show off her cleavage. from the material, i had guessed it looked very expensive, i wonder where and when she had got that considering the fact that i was eavesdropping on mom and dad's argument about their current financial problems they were falling into. i also felt quite embarrassed from her choice of clothing especially since the staff were eyeing her peculiarly seeing as it wasn't quite appropriate for a school setting but my mother wasn't the type to care. she had pulled me just outside the back of the office and to the car park, making sure no one was able to see us.

"jisoo, give me some money."
"what? why?" i shouldn't be surprised with her demands, just when my mother couldn't stoop any lower she sooner or later exceeds worse than my expectations.
"i'm going out with some co-workers tonig- you don't need to know! give me your money!" she whispers harshly, gripping onto my wrist as if to threaten me the deeper she digs her nails into my skin.
"i-i don't have any money on me right now." her hold on my arm tightens and i feel my skin peeling from under her nails.
"you better not be lying, you brat. what about your credit card? i'm sure you brought it with you."

i take my purse from my pocket and hesitantly handed over my credit card.
"thank goodness. now give me the pin number."
i sigh. "it's one, three, ni-"
she interrupts me by hitting my head.
"how am i going to remember that?! write it out, you idiot!"
i, fortunately had a pen in my pocket and wrote out my pin number on her arm. she urges me to hurry up whilst stomping on my foot as a self proclaimed well deserved punishment she believes is necessary for me to endure due to me supposedly 'inking on her skin' despite having no other option.
after i finish and right when she plans to leave, she sends me off with a threat, "you better not tell your dad or i'll kill you."
she smacks my head again. "you got that?"

i bow my head, "i got it."
she nods and heads out. i place my hand on the area she hit me and gently rub it. "why does she have to be so rough." i let out a heavy sigh.

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S E O K J I N P O V

school ends and i grab my books and shove them in my bag. once i finish, i walk out and leave to go home until i see jisoo unaccompanied and walking out on her own. i figured it'd be a good opportunity to continue getting to know each other a little more.

"jisoo! i can walk you home today~" i gleefully offer but judging from her distressed expression, i knew she was going to oppose.
"no! you don't have to. i like walking home alone." she replies and i nod my head playfully to show i disagree.
"i guess i'll just have to change that."
"no really, um.. my dad! yea, he doesn't like to see new people around. it makes him feel uncomfortable."
"well then it means i'll just have to meet him."
"but we're not even that clo- ugh. why are you so persistent?"
she groans and my smile widens knowing i won over the conversation, "that's one thing you now know about me." she groans again, louder the second time but i remain unfazed.

as we walk together, i take initiative to ask about her. "so how's work? is it just the convenience store or..?" she looks at me briefly and answers, "i also work as a waitress at a japanese restaurant nearby the area. my shifts are usually quite late but i've planned to have my rest days."
"ohh i see, i work as an intern chef. the cool thing is that my boss is already teaching me to manage the bar. cocktails, margarita's, you name it." i say quite proudly and she smiles, "maybe you should pour me a drink sometime."
a smirk uncontrollably makes its way on my face, "guess i'll be seeing you there soon."

few moments later, we stop in front of her house.
"alright, i'm going in. since you walked me home, i guess it means you have to take me to the orphanage home sometime, got it?"
"deal, i'm sure everyone will love ya" i grin and she returns a smile, "really? looking forward to it. byee~"

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5:30 in the morning, i realize i woke up much earlier than usual and begin getting ready for school. as soon as i walk out of my room, i find cathy leaning her head on the dinner table with her shoulders slumped over the paper lying under her arms, sleeping.

i give her a sympathetic look, cringing at the uncomfortable position she was in and before heading out, i find a blanket lying on the couch and decide to wrap her with it and carry her to her room. she struggles in her sleep and wakes up, calling my name to stop me from leaving.

"wait jin."
"cathy, it's early, go back to sleep."
"no this is important, i'll show you what i've found out." she jumps out of bed and runs towards the dining table where i had left her pile of papers.
"don't get too excited but...we've officially found your real mom!"
my eyes widen in shock. "h-hey, d-don't joke around, this is serious."
"and so am i. have a look!" she points at the documents that provided my real birth certificate displaying the names of my parents and photos.

"is sh-she really my mom?" i gulp, my hands shaking as i clutch the photo of a man and a woman happily posing at their wedding.
"yes! yes, she is! she's wealthy, she's also quite known too, most likely because of her husband that she remarried to, i think. i didn't quite finish reading about her since i fell asleep but you should go meet her!"
despite all the effort and time cathy had put in consideration to find my birth parents, i was mad. my real parents abandoned me and never thought to come back for me.

"why even fucking bother?!" i slightly raise my voice unintentionally. "they left me remember? that's why i'm here in the first place. why are you even bringing her up?" i'm a little pissed to hear that my 'real mom' seems to be doing perfectly fine in some rich family while i've been here, in this foster care, my entire life. was i some sort of mistake? burden?

i immediately feel bad for shouting at her and the other orphans start to gather 'round just awakening from their slumber.
cathy had a hurt expression laced on her face along with her pouty thin lips and furrowed brows.
"sorry cathy, i didn't mean to shout, i know you had good intentions and you put a lot of effort to help me. i'm just being ungrateful."
"don't be sorry dear, this is a very emotional topic for you and i didn't mean to sound so happy. you don't have to meet her if you don't want to but i'm sure she has her reasons for leaving you here." her voice drops lower and quieter with each word she says, adding to my guilt for making her feel tense.
"you're right, she may have some reasons for doing what she did. thanks for everything."
she smiles and says, "i hope you would look for them sometime," whilst walking off.

"i guess i might as well go now then."

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yes this is a long chapter but continue looking forward to further long chapters.