Then There's Us. [ Hyunsung ]

9

"Look at me Jisung" the guy with blonde hair said while sighing. "I am looking at you" Jisung said as he straightened his back and straight right into the psychiatrist eyes. "No...not in that way. I want you to open up"

"For the past few days, how have you been?" Brian continued. "Well, I'm fine. There's less bullying happening" he confessed and sat comfortably again. If anybody wonder whether he was at a hospital or not, he wasn't. He was chilling inside his home and Brian, his cousin just happened to come today. So, he took the chance for counseling session. "Less bullying? That's new" Brian said as he sat back. "You never talk about those bullies. 'They're weak and not so important' you said"

Jisung nodded "Indeed.you forgot...they are stupid too" Brian stared at Jisung with a smile that one couldn't help but feel like they're being stared naked. " seriously, I can't hide anything from you, can I ?" He didn't want to talk about Hyunjin if he can. "Actually..." He opened his mouth and closed it back again, prolonging what he wanted say. "A guy help me with those bully" he said while sighing. That wasn't the right word he wanted to say. Brian just nodded his head. "I'm glad someone finally stand up for you"

"I can do that for myself. I have always done that" Jisung said while ruffling his hair. Somehow, talking to his cousin this time didn't help him at all. He just felt more angry. "Yes, you can but! But wouldn't it be better to have someone other than you standing up for you?" Jisung shrugged, he told Brian he had Jeongin and Seungmin "Yet, you never tell them anything about you and they are younger than you. You need a brother figure"

"Alright, I'm fine with others standing up for me...",

"But..." Brian raised his eyebrow m there was a but. "That guy is...that guy is Hyunjin" Jisung shut his eyes waiting for what will come from Brian's mouth. Will it be an insult? Will he be ridiculed? But there was nothing. No sound and only them breathing. He opened his eyes and stared at Brian in confusion. "I thought you would call me an idiot"

Brian didn't disagree with that either. "Let me tell you this as a friend...not as a psychiatrist." Jisung tensed in his seat because Brian seemed more serious than he was as a psychiatrist. "You are indeed an idiot"

"So, it's him?" He asked and Jisung nodded in respond. "Are you fine with it? " Jisung shook his head as Brian sighed. He knew something was up. "You still...you still have a feeling on him?" He felt bad for asking this to Jisung but he needed to know in order to help. "I don't want to say anything and I didn't like him. I told you I hate him! He is always going around showing people how perfect he is with his stupidly perfect smile and that stupid cute mole under his eyes—"

Jisung finally calmed down and sat back down while biting his lips as he rubbed his forehead. "If it wasn't for him my father wouldn't hate me that much" Brian made the first approach to hug him. He didn't like this. He didn't like seeing Jisung being this vulnerable and defenseless.  The Jisung he knew was strong yet when it come to his family he was weak. "You father doesn't hate you"

Jisung scoffed. "Yeah, and you are not a guy. You don't get it. My father wants me to be perfect and Hyunjin is perfect! He's always at the top while I'm always second!"

--
Jisung's POV

I shouldn't have cried that hard yesterday. I had black marks under my eyes that made me seem like I lost my soul to the devil or something. I got carried away by my feeling and this rarely happened. I didn't feel great. When I saw myself in the mirror I cannot help but scrunch my nose in disgust of what I was seeing. I told myself 'even your mother wouldn't dare say you are his son with this look'

Knock!knock!

"Jisung hurry or the bus will leave you" once I heard my mother's voice, I hummed in respond and grabbed my bag before rushing out. "Here, eat it on your way" My sweet mother said as she handed me a lunch box. "OK, mom. Bye" I said as I hugged her and ran out from the house, running as fast as I could to reach the bus.

Here's one advantage of being bullied, you run like a marathon runner. For the past few years, I had to run around from them but now running like this felt refreshing. They didn't bother me anymore after that day. So, my life was less annoying now. I smiled at the memory of Hyunjin helping me."Thank you" I muttered. Well, I might don't like him but he is not that bad if I forget about my father.

I laughed at myself. I'm such a hypocrite. I said I was thankful to him but I had been ignoring him for like days because I'm afraid to look at that cold expression again but it felt less burdening when he ignored me too. Something was weird about him, he avoided me more than I avoided him. I didn't even have to run away from him anymore since he did all the work for me.

"Sung?" I widened my eyes when I heard that voice. I tried to act as if I didn't hear anything but he sat down beside me. "Can I sit with you?" I glanced at him and sighed."You're already sitting with me, chan hyung"

I think it was around that time after Hyunjin transfered in middle school that a rumor about me came out. A rumour of me being a bully in middle school spread around. Many people see me in a wrong way. It wasn't their fault. Humans were made with flaws and judging is one of our biggest flaws. Like I said it wasn't their fault...I was the one in wrong. I chose the wrong friend.

I was naturally friendly with everybody because of my loud nature— funny how I don't talk much now though. People often told me that I was a funny guy and that boosted my ego even more...to the point I thought I could befriend everybody and that was when I met seojun.

We were friends. We were very close. People told me that he wasn't a good person but I didn't listen because I thought, I could change him just like how I changed myself from a loner to a social butterfly. I was very hypocritical in the past, I hope I could just punch my past self and open his eyes. I was wrong...too wrong. Seojun almost killed a person. He bullied a guy and it drove his victim to jump off from the school building. However, he was safe when the teacher came and carried him off from the rooftop. For some reason, people started blaming me even though I was pretty sure it was all Seojun's doing. I was marked as...the 'bully'.

People started avoiding me. My so called friends walked away from me. Some even laughed. They were happy to see my downfall. 'Serve him right for acting all cocky'

Even chan,....even he turned his back away but I never blamed him for that. It was normal and wouldn't he be ashamed to be somehow related to someone like me at that time? And drifting away seemed easier for him since he went to a different school than mine.

At that time, seojun was my only friend. He manipulated me— using my naivety as the only person who had 'trusted' me. We had some good times together until he asked for more. "Sleep with me" I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to but he forced me. It was the starting of my full nightmare. It was just one time and that was when he was drunk but we did it anyway. Such a disgusting memory.

"Jisung!" Chan shook my shoulder while I was deep in thought. He handed me a handkerchief and I stared at him indifferently. "Are you alright? You look angry"

Angry? Well, now that I think about it...I wanted to punch that guy's face if I see him ever again. So, yes. I was angry. More than angry actually. I was furious.

"Jisung! Are you alright?" Chan asked as he patted my back. All this time I acted like I hated chan but in fact I didn't. I always wished that he would talk to me again. "sung"

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry" I said to him as I pushed his hand away and laughed. Albeit saying sorry for over dozen times, I was actually happy. Deep down I was happy that Chan talked to me again. It was as if he filled a void in me. A void that I called loneliness and despair.  I felt myself collecting the broken pieces of trust seojun broke in that past.

I didn't know what drove me to feel this way but I felt very calm and happy these days.

-
I could've died before posting this. There was a loud thunder last night like at 12 and the electric went out. It was raining very heavily...and it was very messy last night. And scary cuz yeah I could've died cuz I kept playing with my phone although it was flashing outside.

-hunny