One - Phan fiction

Chapter Two

Dan:

Leave me by myself, alone here to die. I can see that you don't care. No one does. So stop. Stop, it will hurt less.

I opened my brown, copper eyes to be met by harsh sunlight. I grunt, slowly getting out of bed. You don't know how much of an effort it takes me every morning to stay alive. To breath, to have a purpose that gets me to leave my dull room.

I didn't want to see the outside world. I wasn't ready.
Can you blame me?
If I leave my safe room, I'll be greeted by random strangers, receiving smiles and compliments from them, but really...in their thoughts they are judging me. And I, am terrified of judgement.

Slowly, much like a slug, I throw my usual clothes on. I don't bother to look at what I'm wearing, it is always the same anyway - all black.
I straighten my brown, curly hair because I feel anxious and unacceptable with my natural hair.
I am never happy with my appearance.

Skipping breakfast, I get out of the house I could never call home. I walk with my head hanging low, my eyes more interested on the plain, dry ground than the colourful people around me with the mysterious looks in their eyes.
People terrify me.

After what seemed like a year to my mind, I arrive at school. Just on time too. Just as I step into the form room, the bell rings. I find my seat at the front.
There I was, a book in my hand, on my seat, at the front...alone.

I am 18 and yet, I don't feel like I have had any real friends throughout the failure I call my life.

***

Phil:

I am not that alone. I do have friends. Many, actually. But...
They don't feel like friends.
I often find myself wondering:

Am I loved?
Am I what they want me to be?
Am I alone? Because I feel like it.

I am awaken by the blinding sunlight. By the noise outside, signaling that I shall wake up and get to my daily basis. Like any other day.
I get out of my comfortable, warm bed and step out to the real, cold world.

I wear a blue, simple hoodie with black skinny jeans and no matching socks. I know what you're thinking: wow, so much colour therefore, so much happiness. Well, you are wrong. Everyone is.

I straighten my ginger hair. I dislike my natural hair and I was considering dying it raven black. It would compliment my crystal blue eyes.

I eat some toast and other things for breakfast, but not cheese. Cheese is unbearable for me. I get out of my lonely apartment and sigh.
Time to put on a show for the world.
My lips force a smile to strangers, some returning the smile and some ignoring me.

After a fifteen minutes walk that seemed like a day, I arrive at school. I am greeted by my friends in the hallways and people start to join me and force a conversation with me.
I must go with the flow. I thought.
I smiled and talked until the bell rang.
Saved at last.

Walking with my "friends", we go to the form room. We scatter across the class and I seat somewhat in the middle.
In the center.

I am 18 and I have never felt more alone and unloved. I have not had a real friend for the last 18 years of my life.

****

Hey guys! It's your girl author. (If you get the reference ily)

Tell me what you think of this story because it's actually my first time writing a story in poetry style and I want to know if I'm failing so far or not.
Yes, I know it's 2017 and Dan likes his hobbit hair now and I know Phil already has dark black hair but this is written from when they were 18 so... don't judge meh.
Also, sometimes the chapters will double and show the different perspectives of Dan or Phil. It's because I want to keep things simple and short and uh I just feel like it. idk. I'm letting you know that it's gonna happen again and it's not a mistake.

Love ya, stay safe and alive.
- Sara K