Stone and Eddie (a Pearl Jam-ish fanfiction)

Chapter ten

Eddie Vedder

"We're going to the studio to record an album!" Stone shouts when he returns home from rehearsal.

"That's great!" I say and jump up to hug him. I look up at him and although he looks excited, it's like he's hiding something behind his eyes. "What's wrong?"

He walks over to the couch and sits down, and I follow him. He sighs and looks at me. "It's nothing", he says. I give him a skeptical look. "Seriously, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing. Come on, you can tell me", I say and grab his hand.

He sighs again. "When we're recording I'm going to have really long days and won't be able to see you as often. And we've already set up tour dates, and we're going to be touring for a month." A disappointed look crosses over my face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, it's fine", I say, but it obviously isn't. Not seeing him for a month? That seems impossible to handle. And just as things started working out between us.

"Hey", he says, pushing the hair from my eyes. "It's not for another month we're going on tour. We have plenty of time still, and we'll enjoy every second of the time we do have together. And I'll call every night. It'll feel like I'll be back in no time." He smiles reassuringly and I try to smile too. "I love you, and I'll always love you", he says, and leans in for a passionate kiss.

I pull away for only a brief second just to tell him, "I love you too."

We kiss for a few more minutes but before we can get too far Stone says, "I'm sorry Eddie, but I'm starving and haven't had anything to eat since yesterday morning. Want to go get some lunch?" I nod sullenly and we head out the door together.

~*~

"So when do you guys start recording?" I ask apprehensively.

He looks uncomfortable when I ask him that and I wonder why. "Uh, tomorrow."

"What?! Why didn't you tell me you were recording that soon before?" He bows his head in what I think is shame.

"I didn't want you to be upset before. I just wanted to enjoy my time with you", he says without making eye contact.Then he looks at me and reaches for my hand slowly but I jerk it away before he can get to it.

"Don't", I warn him , storm out of the room and slam my bedroom door shut. When I get into my room I collapse on my bed and feel like punching myself in the face for what I just did. But I don't, I just stare at the ceiling and try to hold back tears instead. I hear a faint knock at my door a few minutes later.

"Go away", I say, and realize my voice is uneven and shaky and you can obviously tell from my voice I've been crying. I would let him come in, but I don't want him to see I've been crying. I expect him to persist on coming in but I hear his footsteps fade away and his bedroom door close. Great, now I feel even worse for telling him to go away.

Maybe reading would help, I think. So I go over and grab my Poe book and start reading the next poem, "Annabelle Lee". But all I can think about is not seeing Stone for an entire month and I stain my book with the constant flow of tears coming from my eyes, which pisses me off even more, so I slam my book shut and scream into my pillow. Stone can probably still hear my muffled scream, but at this point I honestly don't care.

Then a troubling thought comes to mind: if I don't see him tonight I will barely see him for the next week when he's recording and won't get a chance to apologize. Shit.

So I wipe the years from my eyes, gather my courage (I would say confidence but I don't have any) and knock on his door before I can change my mind. When he comes out his eyes are a bit red and swollen from crying. "I'm sorry", we both say at the exact same time.

"I didn't mean to walk out like that", I continue before he can get a word in. "And I wasn't mad at you, I was mad at myself. I know I acted really shitty, and I feel really shitty, but can we just try to forget about it?" My eyes must be pleading, or he just really likes me, because he kisses me like it will be the last time he can. And it might be the last time in a while, so I savor it as much as I can.

~*~

I wake up to Stone climbing over me on his bed. "Sorry", he says softly. "I didn't mean to wake you. I have to leave Eddie, we have to record." Right as he stops talking I pull him in for a deep kiss. "Eddie, I have to lea-"

"Shut up and fucking kiss me", I say and pull him closer again. He fulfills my request this time and kisses me for a few more minutes, and I treasure this moment, soaking in as much of his taste as I can. He pulls away slowly and reluctantly and I struggle to keep my lips on his for as long as I can, but eventually our bodies separate and he says goodbye as I watch him walk out the door. "Goodbye", I whisper, but he's already gone.