Learning to love

Love me

Victor pov...

I sat on my couch. after I saw phichit confess his love to yuri I became depressed. Yuri was only using me for sexual things. He only wanted to toy with me, he only wanted my body. Nothing else , when all I wanted was yuri, his mind , his love, everything. God I'm so selfish. I force yuri on to everything but...but he kiss me back. So what does that mean?? Yuri will never loved me, I'm so foolish and stupid. More tears fell, I fell for a student who has a life ahead of him!! I'm 24 while he's 18! I just went to college at 14 , I was known for being a genius.  I fell for a boy I couldn't have . I fell so hard. It hurts knowing that he doesn't love you...more tears fell. Knowing that he loves phichit more than he loves me!! It hurts ,it hurts so much. I was balling my eyes out. 

I'm so stupid so dumb!! Ugh what was I thinking!! I have a balled spot!! I have grey hair! I'm  known for being an old man!! I'm hideous!! I'm ugly!! Of course yuri doesn't love me!! He probably pitied me!' Only kissing me back Becaus of pity. 

I heard a knock on the door . I didn't bother to answer. 

" Victor?" It's yuri!! Oh god I can't let him see me like this!! So broken!! So depressed. He probably gonna reject me. Saying " look you old fuck I don't love you, I never will, I hate you!! You piece of shit, phichit is way hotter than you, and a better kisser too!" I cried even more. Yuri why did I fall for you? Why ?

I heard the door open. I than saw yuri. The sunlight glowed behind him making him look like a god. I blush. That's why I fell for him , he's so beautful...curse you yuri and your beauty!! 

" Victor? ...Victor what's wrong?" He ask. He came towards me .

" y-your gonna r-reject me aren't you? You don't like me...you probably don't even want me as a lover.... Your more in love with phichit , phichit has everything and I had nothing.... He loves you yuri ...I saw you two ....you said I love too back didn't you?....you couldn't love me since I'm to ugly...your gonna leave me, I don't blame you" I said as more tears fall. 

He look down at me. He than pick up a blanket. Wrap it around me, I stop crying. Yuri what are you doing? 

" phichit ,yes he did confess his feelings for me...but I couldn't return them .... I like you victor , as a lover not phichit, sure phichit may be my best friend and child hood friend, but I don't like him like that, we're just friends.  I'll make you a promise , I won't leave you as long as you don't leave me." He said as he hug me. Yuri he ...he likes me , he wants me as a lover. I'm so happy. Thank you yuri. 

I look towards his way. He's blushing while looking down at the ground.  He's so caring and shy . Thank you yuri, thank you for letting me fall for you, thank you for falling for me. Your so caring and sweet and cute.

I kiss him. In a love sort of way thought. I kiss him sweetly, he kiss back. We both end up smiling. Tears fall down my face, yuri loves me, he feels the same way I do. I'm so happy.

We broke for air, I put my forehead on his while I'm smiling and crying. I'm so happy. I saw him blush. He look stunned. 

" I love you yuri"