The Constant

Chapter 18

BEA POV

Christmas came and went quickly and it was nice. Mom and I spent the day at Heath's house with his wife and kids, and my grandparents came and visited. Dad even called and talked for a while. He sounded better, he sounded tired, but definitely like he was in a better place. Ryker and I talked for a while on the phone and all and all it was a good day. 

Now I was packing up the things I had brought with me to Heath's house. Even when I thought I was going to be staying there for the rest of the school year I didn't bring that much stuff with me so I only had a couple of bags and boxes to pack. 

"Are you almost done packing?" Mom asked, leaning against the doorway. 

I nodded, "I just have one more drawer and then I'll be all set." I responded. 

New Years Eve was just two days away and that is when I would first see Ryker again since he last visited here. Every year he threw a huge New Years party where my parents, his parents, friends and family all came. However, since it was our senior year, Ryker's parents agreed to spend the night out and let the party just be for Ryker's friends. I was really excited to finally come home and see Ryker and my other hometown friends. 

Today we were driving home and then tomorrow Mom and I were going to visit Dad before I went to Ryker's party at night. I was really nervous about seeing Dad as I hadn't seen him since that fight where he pushed me. I didn't know if it would be awkward or normal. I wondered how he looked. Would he be healthy looking or gaunt and exhausted. 

There wasn't much I could do but just relax and wait until tomorrow. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat?" Mom asked me for the tenth time. 

I shook my head, I was too nervous to eat. We had just started driving to head out to go see Dad. The rehabilitation center he was staying at was about a thirty minute drive from our house, and with every minute closer to Dad we got, the more nervous I got. 

I tried to distract myself by thinking about other things, like Ryker, but even that didn't settle me. There was so many unanswered questions with him too. We needed to still talk about what was happening between us, was anything even happening to us? Would we be a couple?  Every Time I thought about it I felt queasy, but I also smiled too. The way he felt like home to me, the way I could say anything to him and how he could almost read my mind, how perfect I felt with him. But our friendship was number one in importance, I didn't want to risk anything. 

Suddenly I was broken out of complicated thoughts by my mom poking my side. "Honey we're here." She said. 

We rolled up at Rolling Acres Rehabilitation Center and descended up the long driveway. The driveway was framed by bright green trees. Finally a large grey, square building came into view. Mom quietly pulled into a spot and we walked into the building wordlessly. 

The inside of the building was very neat and nice. White, bare walls surrounded us and bright fluorescent lights lit the waiting room. I trailed behind Mom like a puppy. She walked up to front desk where a woman was busy typing away on her computer. 

As we edged nearer, she looked up and plastered a smile on her face. "Hello welcome to Rolling Acres. How may I help you today?" She asked. 

Mom smiled, "Hi we're here for visiting hours. We're here to see Ted Turner." She informed. 

"Lovely. Do you know the room number?" The secretary asked. 

Mom nodded, "Yes thank you." The woman handed us two visitor pass stickers to put on. 

"Have a nice day. If you have any questions, just find one of us." The woman said. 

"Thank you." Mom said. She then turned to me. "Ready?" She asked. 

My heart thudded heart and I suddenly felt shaky. I took a huge, deep breath and nodded. Mom smiled softly and threw an arm around my shoulders. Dad's room was on the third floor so we walked over to the elevators and quickly went up. 

"His room is down the hall a bit." Mom said, leading us to the right. The hallway was relatively quiet with just one or two people passing. You could hear music and television softly through the doors but most rooms were empty as many people were outside as it was a gorgeous day. 

Then we stopped, room 325. Mom knocked on the door and within a minute the door opened. When he opened the door a huge smile spread across his face. "My girls!" He cheered, pulling both of us in big hug. "Come in! Come in!" He said, ushering us inside his small room. 

The room was fairly plain inside, and about the size of a college dorm room. The walls were white with one square window in the center of the back wall. There was one bed with wooden frames, two lounge chairs, a large desk and a rolling chair with the desk. There were some personal touches in the room though that did scream my Dad. Green comforters and pillowcases as they were his favorite colors, the lounge chairs were from home and on his desk was filled with multiple photos of me, my Mom, and Heath. 

Dad scratched his head awkwardly. "It's not much, but I think it's okay." He said. 

"It's lovely." Mom assured him, nudging me. 

I nodded with a shy smile. "Yeah." I mumbled. 

"Let's take a seat," Mom said, ushering me to one of the lounge chairs. Dad took a seat in the other lounge chair and Mom sat in the rolling chair. 

Dad turned to me, "So Bea, how have you been?" He asked. 

His gaze was intense, his attention undivided on me. My eyes wavered down to my hands. "I've been good." I answered. 

Dad leaned forward and lifted my chin gently, getting my eyes on his. "Bumble Bee..." The said gently. 

I hadn't even realized I was crying until I felt Dad wipe away my tear. "Please talk to me. Don't hold back.  I need to here everything, it's a part of my recovery... and yours." 

"Okay then. I'll say how it's been then Dad. My life since that night has been hell. I was hit and pushed by my father. My own fucking father! Then I was uprooted to a different freaking state without even being asked how I felt about it! Then I was left alone with Heath and his family who I love but I was alone! Like a damn castaway. So that's how it's been Dad." I said furiously, pacing around his tiny room quickly. 

It was silent for a couple of minutes, but I finally started to feel better. Saying everything out loud felt like a release. 

Finally Dad stood up and grabbed both of my hands. "Thank you. I love you. And I'm so so sorry for the hell and misery I've put you through. I don't expect your trust and forgiveness, but I just need to tell you I'm sorry." Dad said. 

I had to swallow everything that he had said, and I pulled my Dad into a hug. Things weren't perfect, but I could finally start to see light again.