It's Not Easy Being Green • Shrek and Cosmo

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

The stench of the dirty swamp engulfed his nostril cavity. It smelled amazing. It smelled like love and the sweat of the only person Cosmo had ever desired. They hopped off of donkey and Donkey ran away because he doesn't need no man. Shrek and Cosmo were about to walk into the dingy shack when Fiona busted out the door with a loud shriek.

"Fiona, I told you to go and take the children you fat pig." Fiona gasped and smacked Shrek across his face, but it didn't hurt him. He's an ogre, he has layers. Fiona spotted glowing green hair peeking out from behind her fat husband.

"Who is this bitch?!" Fiona yelled with her gruff manly voice. The birds all flew away in a frenzy.
Fiona's big hands grabbed Cosmo's hair and yanked him up to face her.
"Who the fluck are you!?!?1"fiona yelled with anger. Cosmo retorted back with his shrill voice.

"I'm flucking your husband you biatch!" Cosmo yelled. He stopped by an abrupt hand smacking his face. When Shrek saw this, rage overcame him. He hated Fiona, and he would do anything to see her body cold and lifeless, like a fish that he just murdered. The only difference is that Shrek liked fish. Shrek hated Fiona, and so did Cosmo.

Shrek took axe behind the tree stump which was conveniently placed there. "Shrek totally wasn't planning to kill her until now." Said the narrator sarcastically. He swung the axe at her head, maybe hoping to decapitate her.

Her green head was sliced open and rotten brains leaked out.
"Oh crap, I've been decapitated." She said, falling over onto the muddy ground. Shrek smiled in approval and lifted Cosmetics up into his jiggly arms. Cosmo tried to see what was going on but he couldn't. He can't fucking see you dick.

"I want you to say it to me Cosmo. I need you to." Shrek moaned out, and Cosmo knew exactly what he meant.
"Shrek is love. Shrek is life." He whispered into Shrek's ear.

"Oh gee Cosmo!" Shrek screamed out. They both walked inside of the dank shack. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace. It reminded Cosmo of that time he sacrificed his baby on a witch's stake. He was filled with pleasure at the thought of his dead baby. Shrek slowly leaned down to Cosmo and whispered in his ear, "What are you thinking about my lovely princess?"

"Oh yaknow, some good memories resurfaced in my mind. Yaknow." Shrek smirked.

"Well, let's make some new memories." Shrek moaned into Cosmo's not deaf ear, we're not at that part yet. Cosmo blushed and was filled with ecstacy for the smelly man.
"Oh gee Shrek! I would love to!" He screamed out in pleasure. Shrek slowly lowered cosmo onto the damp moldy bed that had weird stains on in, some of them were orange. Cosmo didn't have time to wonder why. Also he didn't have to, he can't see. Cosmo reached his hand down and felt something that he never felt before. Something cold, like a hard cold dead fish. Maybe a trout or catfish. Cosmo pulled on it, and a zipping sound filled the arousing air. Shrek's layers started to peel off like an onion. Because yknow, ogres have layers n shit.

An oily orange man emerged, he looked like a soggy cheeto and had pale circles around his eyes. His yarn hair that he bought at the dollar tree was falling off in clumps.

Cosmo gasped in surprise and betrayal, but he couldn't shake the feeling that this man was the most beautiful man he had ever seen. He was even more beautiful that Shrek's volumptuous godly figure.

"Who are you?" Cosmos asked. He replied, "I'm both Shrek and Donald. I'm like Hannah Montana, I get the best of both worlds." Donald told him.

Cosmo gasped again, but this time in pleasure.