Black Butterflies of Death [Yesung x Sungmin]

Death Gods

As he promised Sungmin, he took the name Yesung when he became a Death God.  He earned back his human memories and was surprised to find out that he really had someone he loved back when he was a human.  It was a long time ago, probably more than a hundred years and surely, the person is dead.

"It's weird to suddenly remember that there used to be a person you loved so much in the past but in the present, there's also someone that you love dearly."  Kibum stated as he and Yesung were having a drink.  Two Death Gods having a break meant the souls who they were going to take would be able to live longer even if it's just a bit of few hours.

"Yeah, but the love in my human life shall remain in the past.  A very nice memory.  The love in the present however..."  Yesung drank everything in his glass in oneshot.  "Mine happens to become a Death God Apprentice which meant Sungmin's memories of me and our time spent together were erased in his head.  As a rule, I am not allowed to communicate with him because I was a part of his human life.  I would have to wait until he officially becomes a Death God.  I'm afraid that he might fall in love with someone while he is a DGA.  I'm afraid his love for the other might be stronger than his love for me.  I'm afraid that when his human memories come back, he'll choose to continue his love for the other and not with me."

"I heard he's getting along very well with his Death God Trainer, Kyuhyun."  Kibum commented.

"Kibum, you're not comforting me."

"Sorry, man... or should I say Death God?" Kibum chuckled before taking a drink.  "You should just be like me, zero love life.  Less problems and worries to deal with."

Yesung knew that Kibum was lying.  He knew Kibum liked a few people back when they were in their apprenticeship but Kibum never acts out his feelings.  "Aren't you lonely, Kibum?"

"Of course, I am." Kibum smiled wryly.  "But I was very unlucky when it came to love back in my human life.  I figured it would probably be the same especially now that we're Death Gods.  It won't be easy to love someone unless he/she is a fellow Death God maybe.  The thing is... I always tend to like someone who is out of reach." 

"Who do you like now? That is... if you're willing to tell me."

"I won't tell you the name, but I'll tell you that he's a cupid."

Yesung's eyes widened in surprise.  "A Death God and a Cupid.  Certainly unheard of."

"You know what's the similarity between the both of us?"  Kibum didn't wait for Yesung's answer before he continued, "we both can only watch the person we love from afar."

"There's a difference, Kibum."  Yesung retorted.  "I have to stay away from Sungmin until he becomes a Death God because I used to be a part of his human life while you can do something about it because there aren't any rules about not falling in love with a Cupid.  A Death God and a Cupid may be unheard of ,but it's not something entirely impossible."

Then both of them stopped talking as they got lost in their own thoughts of worries and possibilities.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The day for Sungmin to become a Death God has finally arrived.  His human memories returned.  One person from his memory stood out the most, Yesung.  Then his emotions clashed because he is currently in love and in a relationship with Kyuhyun.

He planned to avoid Yesung because he doesn't feel like he is ready for any confrontation yet, but it turned out that he didn't have to avoid Yesung because it looked like Yesung doesn't have any plans of approaching him.  

When he was a Death God Apprentice, he had always noticed Yesung suddenly showing up as to where his current mission is, but Yesung never talks to him.  Yesung just stood somewhere far away and watched him for a few minutes.  Now that his human memories returned, he finally knows why Yesung did that.

But ever since Sungmin officially became a Death God and regained his human memories, Yesung stopped those short visits of watching Sungmin from afar.  Sungmin didn't tell Kyuhyun about his human memories and about Yesung.  He didn't want anything to change between them.  However, the longer Sungmin kept it as secret, the more he felt guilty about it.

One day, Sungmin finally gathered up the courage to tell Kyuhyun about his human memories.  They decided to cool off from their relationship.  Sungmin needs some time to be alone to sort out his feelings and to resolve things with Yesung.  Even if he currently loves Kyuhyun, he can't exactly say that he loved him with his whole heart now that he found out that a piece of his heart is with Yesung.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Yesung was drinking at the usual bar which he and Kibum frequently went to.  However, he was surprised to see that it was Sungmin who came to sit in front of him instead of his usual drinking buddy, Kibum.

"I think we need to talk."  Sungmin said seriously. 

"It has been a month since you officially became a Death God, Sungmin, so why talk now?" Yesung stood up.  He wanted to leave right away.

Sungmin was quick to grab Yesung's forearm.  "Please... let's just have a talk."

"There's nothing to talk about.  If you loved me, you would have talked to me earlier."

"I still love you!" Both of them were surprised to hear those words.  Sungmin even surprised himself because he spent the whole month denying it to himself.  "To be honest, I don't want to have these feelings for you because I love Kyuhyun.  At some point, I even wished that I didn't regain those human memories because most of them weren't nice memories anyway.  The only nice memories I had was when my mother was still alive and those with you.  I-I'm confuse..."

"There's nothing to be confuse about.  Let the past remain in the past.  You have Kyuhyun now."  Yesung tried to make it sound so simple.

"Kyuhyun and I broke up. I want to give us a try."

"What if you found out that the one you truly love is Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun has decided to move on and found someone else?"

"Maybe I'll regret it later, but I still want to give us a try."  Sungmin said with determination.  "I died for you, Yesung and if my human memories weren't erased, I wouldn't have fallen for Kyuhyun."

"But things changed.  We're both not who we used to be."

"Why are you so intent on NOT having a relationship with me when you obviously still have feelings for me?!" Sungmin was starting to get frustrated with the way Yesung was denying him from having a relationship.  This wasn't easy on Sungmin's part and Yesung was only making it harder.

"Because I don't want to lose you again!" Yesung was finally able to say something pertaining to his feelings.  "In the end, if you really happen to choose Kyuhyun over me..."

But for a moment, Yesung's doubts and worries were erased as he felt Sungmin's lips descend upon his. 

"Before worrying the future, let's just give us a try, alright?  I wouldn't have became a Death God Apprentice if you didn't convince me to try even if the future for us is uncertain.  The future you talked about back then is finally happening right now, so I want to convince you to give us a try.

Yesung finally surrendered and agreed to give them a try.  He could only hope for the best.

THE END

A/N: It turned out I decided to write it as a birthday gift to myself way back on September 4, 2012.  I'm happy with this outcome because just like the previous chapters, the outcome isn't exactly a happy ending. More like an "uncertain happy ending". Hahahaha!!! 

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