four - unicorn badass

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Italics: Ophelia
Bold: Theodore
Italics underlined: Other
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"Hello-"

"Who is this?"

    "Who is this?"

"My name's Ian Douglas; future unicorn badass of America."

    "Yeah, and I'm a future-"

"Ian! Give me my phone this instant!"

"Shit! He's onto us!"

      "Run, Ian!"

*running footsteps sounds*

"At least tell me who's on the phone!"

*more running footsteps sounds*

"Tell me, what is your name, 'Queen of ice cream'?"

    "Ophelia."

"It's Ophelia!"

      *gasp*

*tackling sound*

*thumping sounds*

"Sorry about that. My brother is an an annoying ass."

"Not!"

"I can relate with my brother."

"You have a brother? You never told me! I feel hurt."

"I don't usually tell strangers my life story."

"Stranger? Honestly, I'd rather you call me Severus Snape."

"Then I'll keep calling you a stranger."

"I wouldn't consider us strangers... more like, acquaintances."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now where's my ice cream sandwich?"

"It's already on the way, my Queen."

*end call*

"Did he just say, 'his' Queen?!"

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