Do It

'Confusion'

I didn't know where i was. It was like i knew i was in the hospital, but my mind hasn't comprehended it yet. There were all these people staring at me with hope in their eyes. They all wore the same colour dresses and one of these peoples' mouths were moving. I think they were trying to communicate with me or something but i honestly didn't care right now. All i could think about was that i was alive. Sadly. I don't want to be alive. Not now. Not ever. I just want the pain of the stress and anxiety to leave and the only way i think it will is if I'm no longer alive. But it seems like these stupid people, in the stupid dresses have a different, stupid plan. Can people just accept the fact that i don't want to be here? Does no one understand that i no longer want to suffer? Cant they tell the I'm hurting and in pain by the fact that i fell unconscious for basically no reason? Im just so fricken sick of people and them wanting me to be alive. It's not like I'm wanted in this stupid, unfair world. No one loves me. They just want me to be alive to watch me suffer more. To make the voices in my head stronger, louder. What a stupid, messed up world that I'm apart of, where people find joy in watching people suffer. Im sick of this stupidness! And I'm sick of constantly using the stupid word, that is the word stupid! UGH!

"Nicole?" I heard a soft voice say. Fluttering my heavy eyelids open, i located the voice and saw that it was Alex.

"Oh my gosh! She's awake! She's awake! Someone get a nurse!" My ageing mother yelled while jumping around my room.

"Hey," Alex whispered in my ear while tears filled his hurt eyes, "I missed you." He finished while wiping away warm, salty tears from my face that i didn't even know were there.

"How long has she been awake for?" asked a guy in a white coat who just walked into the room.

"About three minutes, Doc," replied Alex.

"Hello Nicole, I'm doctor Neel and we are currently situated in your hospital room. Now, you fell unconscious at school and we had to put you in an induced coma. We had to do this as your body wasn't responding from the lack of sleep you were providing it with. Can you tell me what you remember before you fainted?" the fella in the white coat said to me. I nodded my ponding head at what he said too me, not wanting to speak just yet.

"Are you able to speak to me, Nicole?" he asked as i shrugged my weak shoulders, "Hmm, okay well you should probably get some more rest and ill come back in an hour to run some tests, if thats okay with you?" he asked my mother while she nodded and thanked him. As he walked out of my room, i turned my head to look at Alex. I took in he's perfect complection, hurt and relieved, yet still perfect somehow. I kept looking around the room, saw my parents and brother. Then i saw two other people in the room. I don't recognise them though, was i supposed to? They were looking at me like i had just gotten pulled out of a pumpkin. Oh my gosh, was i looking at them funny? Quickly turning away, i gave Alex a look that said 'Help I just looked at those people funnily'. He must've got the message that i was saying because he asked me if i know them and when i shook my head, they started crying.

I'm so confused right now. Why are they crying? They're just strangers. I mean like why are they even in this room? Do i know them? Are they friends of my brothers? But they can't be, they're too old.

"Nicole, they're your best friends," said Alex, concern laced in his voice. And just like that, confusion took over my mind for like the forth time in the past twenty minutes.