Phil Lester vs the Afterlife

Small Guy

It was really hard to decide which experience was worse, that of everything fading to black without a single warning or the blinding light that came after. Phil would probably have to choose the second since, his experience of arriving in the afterlife was accompanied by a very loud greeting of "TOP O' THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIE!" that, literally, shocked him back to consciousness.

He sat up and rubbed his eyes, trying to decide whether he had dreamed of the loud Irish voice or if he was actually being attacked by an obnoxious leprechaun. He looked upwards and found himself facing a young man, with matching green eyes and hair and a toothy grin plastered all over his small face.

"Hello" the man greeted him again, with the same enthusiasm but, thankfully, in a quieter voice. "Ye just arrived, huh? What was it? Did ya get electrocuted while trying to fix a lamp or was it natural? Perhaps you were murdered or maybe did you fall down the stairs?" The man began an endless series of guesses, all resulting in Phil's death. "Wait, wait..." croaked Phil, speaking for the first time since he had woken up. "Am I dead?" He asked, only to be hit with the weight of the possibility that, yes, he might indeed be dead. "I wonder why every one of us is socked so badly when we realise..." came a slightly drawled answer and Phil turned his head to face the man who was now giving him a very troubled look. "Aaaaaanyhow, to answer your question, yes lad, I'm sorry but you've bit the dust kid, you've kicked the bucket, you've walked the plank, call it whatever you want but ye my friend, are as dead as a dodo." He suddenly started babbling, shuttering every bit of seriousness in their conversation."We gotta get ye to the reception, find out where you'll be placed." And with that the man pulled Phil to his feet and started walking, will more accurately as Phil thought, prancing away.

"Hold on!" Phil shouted. He jogged a few meters, so he could catch up with the green haired male. "Do you know what happened to Pj, he's my friend who was in the accident." He blurted out, grateful that in his rush he didn't reveal anything about seeing the girl in black. "He's probably getting his placement shorted at the moment; you can ask the secretary as soon as we get there." Phil was graced with an answer that only further confused him. "Secretary?" He muttered under his breath, knowing that if he asked the overenthusiastic man besides him would only make this even more complicated than it already was.

Suddenly, Phil came to a stop by bumping on somebody, which effectively jerked him from his thoughts. He looked down, taking note, for the first time, of how short the Irish man was compared to him. However, that wasn't surprising at all, given that very rarely people (other than Pj) could match his freakishly tall figure. He gave an apologetic smile and rubbed the back of his head. He was ready to question the reason that kept them there when a small wooden desk appeared in his field of vision.

Until now, he hadn't paid a lot of attention to his surroundings, which could be easily blamed on his very recent experience of dying, but, as he gave the lightly furnished beige room they were in a good look, he came to the conclusion that the afterlife wasn't as impressive as it was thought to be. "It's just the lobby." The man beside him spoke with a large smile, as if he had read Phil's mind, and without another word he proceeded to approach the person who was sat behind the desk.

"Hello." He greeted in a more formal manner than he had used earlier while waking Phil up. "We are here for a check in." He stated with ease, obviously having done that several times before. The secretary, acknowledged their existence by sighing and looking up from the sheets of paper in his hands. "State your full name, date of birth and last habitat." He said in a robotic voice, clearly not enjoying his job. Phil raised his eyebrows as the secretary finished his sentence but, decided not to challenge any of it. "Phillip Michael Lester, 26, London."

The man looked up from his papers "Car accident, right? There was one more victim by the name of Pj Ligouori." he stated coldly, obviously not caring whether his words would affect Phil or not. He nodded and braced himself for the bad news. "According to this document, Mister Ligouori is still alive and being hospitalised with a broken arm and some other minor injuries. From what has been reported, he was saved thanks to the intervention of the other victim, Phillip Lester, who sheltered his friend from the most violent part of the impact that resulted in his death instead." the secretary concluded, raising his gaze from his papers once more to see if Phil had heard him. Taking his obvious relief in, he then turned to the other man "Sean, I have some important letters to redirect, would you mind showing Mister Lester here the Crossroad?" he asked, suddenly making Phil aware of the fact that he hadn't asked the green-haired man's name. Sean gave the secretary a goofy smile, made a show out of taking a ninety degree turn and started marching off toward a second plainly decorated corridor. Phil followed him closely, this time paying closer attention to their surroundings and making sure he didn't bump on anything or anyone.