Kill or be Killed (OLD AND BAD)

Mettaton

I wake up in the morning to shouting. Something about coffee? I grab a knife and walk out into the hall. "I don't know who you are, but listen, I'm not afraid of you!" I yell out down the hall. "Just don't attack me and I won't hurt you. I'm just-" I turn a corner. In the room is a robot. Standing tall, raven hair covering one eye, ridiculous clothes. He turns around. "Hmm? A fan?" Oh god. I recognize that voice. It's Mettaton. I point the knife at him. "Why are you here?" He tilts his head at me. "I just realized I forgot some things down here. I need them to be as fabulous as possible." Ugh. Five seconds and I'm already dying inside. "What, did you forget your makeup or something?" He looks surprised. "Actually, yes. How did you know?" "Oh, well I'm a huge fan and I really love you and I practically know everything about you." I say sarcastically. "Really? What a coincidence, running into one of my fans here, of all places. What is it, darling? Do you want an autograph?" Wow. Apparently he doesn't understand sarcasm. "That was sarcasm," I reply. "I'm here trying to get to the surface." His face droops. "Hmm. I'm going to the surface after this too." Oh no. He's on the surface? Is he a star there too? Please no. If I'm going to the surface, I'm going to a Mettaton-free surface, dammit. I point the knife at him. "Don't go back up there." He looks at me curiously. "Why? What's stopping me? Is it you? You don't look so tough, darling." He's right. I wouldn't hurt him. Annoying or not, he doesn't deserve it. "Okay. I'm not gonna stab you. I've got a code. But... there's nothing stopping me from locking you in one of these rooms." I retort. "Lasers, darling," he replies. Damn. I forgot about the lasers. "and I'm going back up. My fans are missing me." He's right. I can't stop him. And his dumb fans will probably suffer if he isn't there for them. But, being the rude person I am, I remark back snottily at him. "But their aim'll get better." He starts to talk back, but then stops. "Nice joke. I'll put you on my comedy hour. You can get to the surface faster with me, you know." He doesn't wait for a response. He grabs my hood and pulls me off in a different direction to look for his makeup. Oh god. What have I gotten myself into?