-Words can hurt, but they can also heal.-
----
A series of letters through which Becca contacts her former classmates. What she never imagined was that writing may lead her to the guy who started it all...Brian.
Soon Becca will be faced with a quest...
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❝The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do.❞
--James 3.5
❊
CHAPTER SEVEN:
Micah Aguilar (@Micaguilar)
881 following 15.905 followers
Becca's brows lifted in astonishment. Ok, the guy had followers. Had he turned into a celebrity overnight or he got them just by uploading half-naked selfies? She wouldn't mind checking those out. A dry laugh escaped her parted lips and she shook her head at the ridiculousness of her thoughts. Creepy pervert Becca, she chastised herself.
Well, the guy had a face that could make Adonis weep though, and he sure knew how to flaunt his looks. It was a shame he was so absorbed with himself that he forgot to see the beauty around him. Maybe, just maybe he couldn't even see that beauty inside of him. He believed his only worth was being blessed with physical beauty. That was so wrong. Didn't he feel hollow just pretending all the time? Needing reassurance that he was worth something by people who didn't even knew a single thing about him?
It wasn't as if she knew every single secret he had, or how he liked his coffee in the morning --if he even liked it-- but she got to know him through the years, and leaving his high narcissistic levels aside, he was a smart guy.
She couldn't help but wonder if someone had told him that at any point in his life. Kind words that could help his heart grow, not just his ego. She doubted it.
She'd never told him anything close to that, neither had their peers. He never had a girlfriend because he only did one night stands, so, it was debatable if he'd ever heard those words. It wasn't fair for him. He had the right to know. He had the right to know that at least someone out there cared for him. For the real him, not just the false front he put on for the cameras. The authentic Micah Aguilar, the one who hated football, but still feigned to love it just for the sake of the team, the one who hid his 'A's' so that no-one would say he was a know-it-all, the one who would take his friend's back no matter what, the one who could make a girl feel beautiful just by looking into her eyes, the one who would be polite to the elders and go out of his way to pick up his best friend ex-girlfriend the day they broke up and she was crying under the dumpour with no-where to go--yeah, Camille had told her that one.-- Maybe that girl had thanked him? Told him he shouldn't hide that? Her lips pressed together and she shrugged her shoulders, she'd never know.
What she did know was that she didn't.
So with new-found confidence, she tapped the screen on her phone, waiting for the keyboard to pop up.
Becca: (@Micaguilar)
Hey Mick! How's life treating you? Hope everything is running smoothly for you. I've contacted a few of our classmates from school this past week, and as you might have guessed your face popped up in my mind, it was such a nightmare haha--I almost fell of my chair at the sight (joking).
Anyway, I needed to speak to you about school. I know it's been a while, but...I have to do this.
Remember that night at the bonfire at the end of our junior year? Maybe you don't, maybe you already erased that from your memory, but I doubt it.
You were there with your friends, cracking jokes, laughing and having fun like every other school guy. I was off to the side, talking with Camille and nursing a beer in my hands, watching the flames and the sparks that lifted into the air. It was past midnight when Cami took off (I really don't remember her excuse) and I was experiencing a slight buzz from the beer I'd had. (Such a light weight, I know)
I was watching the waves as they drifted ashore when you approached me. We talked for a while, you cracked a few jokes and we laughed together, gathering the attention of the few people who still mingled around the bonfire. You offered me another beer and I took it, placing it on my lips and taking a long gulp. Wipping the drop that fell from my lips with the back of my hand, I looked up at you and sucked in a breath. You weren't looking at me anymore. Your eyes had turned darker and fixed on my lips. Your intentions clear. I wonder: What were you thinking Mick? Were you drunk? Did you seriously thought I'd go through with it? What had crossed your head at that moment is still a mystery to me, but you went for it anyway (consciously or subconsciously. I don't really know.)
One minute you were staring at my lips and the next our mouths were pressed together. I have to tell you, you caught me off guard. You caught me off guard and that's why I didn't push you away immediately, not because I was reciprocating whatever feeling you were having at that moment. Your hands had cradled my face, your lips were moving against mine trying to elicit a reaction out of me. And I'll admit at first I did kiss you back, and that might have been what gave you the wrong impression. Then the fog on my mind begun to clear the moment one of your hands clutched my hip, bringing me closer to you and warning bells begun to chime inside my head along with a painful headache. I placed my hands on your chest, pushing you away, my breathing heavy. My wide eyes rose to meet yours, incredulous, and I swear your mouth curved into a smirk. Not even the slightest sign of regret in your eyes. 'W-what?' I remember stuttering, waiting for you to explain, apologise, blame it on the alcohol or whatever, but you just stood there and shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.
That's when everything went to shit.
It was a big deal for me Mick.
I don't blame you for being the cause of the split between Alec and I. I'm not blaming you for the snowball of actions that derived from it. I'm not even blaming you for kissing me. But I'd have loved for you to stop and think for a minute. What were you planning to gain from that? Because as far as I know there weren't benefits for you. But it was my life there, my body, I am my person and I do have feelings. Yet you stomped over them as if they just weren't there. Tell me: Do you impose yourself on all the girls like that? Do you just shrug when they ask for an explanation just because? I never judged you Mick. I respected you. I respected you way of thinking. I never said anything about the way you treated girls because I knew you always made it clear for them. But me? Why me Mick?
I'm still giving you the chance to explain after all these years. Maybe it wasn't a big deal for you. Maybe you'll brush this opportunity off. Maybe you'll delete this message as soon as it pops up on your phone. I really don't know what your reaction will be, but I want you to know that as innocent and stupid it may seem, this is a big deal for me and if you're half the man I believe you are, you'd take me on it.
Before I end this message (that has gotten longer than I expected) I want you to know that I never saw you differently after that night, and after all that happened later. I still respected you, I valued the friendship we had, and I want you to know that there is so much more in you than just your looks Mick. You shouldn't hide yourself behind them. I know you tried to make Alec find reason, I know you tried to stop all the things that spiralled down, I noticed lots of things Mick. You are a good guy, you care for those who are close to you, you are really smart (Did you seriously expected me not to notice?) Don't let appearances hold you back, live your dream. If you wanted to be a Psychiatrist, why won't you? I'll always be here if you ever need a hand.
