impaired | m.yg (On Hold)

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- J I H E E -

I swung back and forth in the park, it was a nice day, I hummed lightly as I watched little kids run around with their parents.

I smiled as a mother treated her child's wound, kissing it as if her kiss was all they needed.

I miss times like that, when my family actually cared and listened to me.

Ironic, huh? Because I can't even listen to them, but they could've made an effort.

I remembered what Yoongi said, a few days ago, about them being unloving, they seem like it.

I haven't had a call from them for 3 years, I get more texts from my aunt then my own mother or father.

They don't know what's going on, what happens if I die? Would they even care? I sighed.

I remembered the day of my grandmother's funeral, my grandfather died a year before.

My mom's mother was my last grandparent, my father's parents died before I was born.

My mom was crying and my father was calming her down, like he had done in the ambulance 2 years before.

My brother held me and cried, we were at the door of the church.

It didn't hit me until I saw the casket and her photo, she was smiling but the person in the casket wasn't.

I started crying in my brothers arms, she was the person that taught me sign language, she helped me and she was gone.

I knew she had planned her own funeral, there was a translator signing everything to me.

No one else would've even thought about it, but she always tried to help me after she learned my hearing had gone.

The whole ceremony was so depressing, even her dog was sad, laying down next to her coffin wishing she could come back.

I could relate to it, I wanted her back as well, the rest of the days until I turned 18 were the worse days of my life.

I was invisible, I was insulted, no one made an effort. I still remember when I met Youra.

She was sitting on the bus and some guy bumped into me, making me fall on her.

She yelled after him, I never knew what she said, she would never tell me, she always signed 'I would ruin your innocent mind' I would always laugh at her.

I remember when I dropped out of school because of the kids there, then I got a tutor that comes every 3 days instead.

Youra supported my decision but sometimes I miss being around the same people.

I miss a lot of things. Being able to hear. My grandma. My old friends.

I snapped out of my memories to see Yoongi 'Are you okay? You're crying' I raised my hand and felt my cheek.

It was completely wet, I got up and wiped my eyes 'I'm fine, I need to go, I'll see you around' with that, I walked off.

I needed to be alone for a little while.