he smashes mirrors
punches walls
punches anything that's not me
takes me places
daytime
fourth birthday
takes me to the fair
it's closed
I close my eyes
pretend I can see things
rides and cotton candy stalls
and I smile
because he wants me to
and then I tell myself
he's not forcing me to
and then the next night, midnight
he leaves
no cards
no letters
no address
I remember him sometimes
night, midnight
but there's no fair outside the window
no rides
no cotton candy stalls
