Midnight Thoughts

2.

"Some past are worth to recall"

I kept watching you. Observe you. I know it's creepy but I like to observe people. I'm not a stalker,no, I'm just like to know what is people personality. Sometimes it give me a good benefits, sometimes not. The good were probably I get to know you better and the bad are always why you seeing him/her and etc. The bad usually stand out than the good. That's why I have this routine called over-thinking.

Now, people don't expect you, a cheerful, positive, happy-go-lucky kind of person to have a minor depression. They wouldn't. When I have a very unlike thoughtful mind, people will go say "it's just nothing! You okay! Why you thinking nonsense like that?" And so on. I just want people to understand what I had been going through. I know it's too much to ask and do but I'm tired it was me who understand them. I'm tired. I'm always tired, emotionally. I told to myself over and over again "Hey, you need to stop caring much or you will be hurt" and there's another side of me said "But this is who you are. You can't stop." And they begun a silent war in my head.

No people, I'm not crazy or have mental issues problem. Those two side are my over-thinking man. It kinda happen when something sad happen or having a doubtful event. The only one who can bring them alive was the person I care, I love and befriend with:

And I think, it was you

It's you . Ever since the accident that happen on 2015, I have this urge to protect you, to take care of you, to make you happy. When I looked in your teary eyes and your puff cheek, I immediately think "I'm gonna protect you" and it did. You have a pretty sore elbow and came down to bought you some ice. I stay with you and kept gave you advice. I hold the ice packet and start to massage your elbow.

I think "why I'm doing this? We barely known each other. Sure, we're in the same class but we never talk much" but you know what? I don't bother it. I push it away yet I didn't know that was the biggest thing I don't ever think twice.

It's all happen that moment.

The day my downfall begin,

Am I still feel regret of what happen?

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See ya in next Sunday, peeps 😁