Midnight Thoughts

3.

"Love is dangerous yet lovely"

The first time I've been in love was pure, I don't know... Random?. I laughed myself, thinking that I'm been in love with one of my friends. It's just simple crush that lately turn into another dangerous turn. Love. Many meaning on just one word. If you see me, I'm like the rough person. People saw me that but they were wrong. As I experienced love, I knew who I am. Who I was. Who I will be. It all happen.

In just one emotion.

One emotion destroy me. One emotion make me of who I am. One emotion gave me so much blessing and one emotion make me so full of life.

I'm thankful. That's what I said to myself. I'm very grateful to experienced love other than my family. The feeling of hoping and shyness and hundreds of blushing. It's too much but I'm grateful I've been feeling that. My family love are my number one. I love them as much they love me. You have to be very grateful and thanks to God because He gave you a parent that love you for who you are. The world, the universe could take your parent any moment and please make this time as a time to say you love them and hug them or anything you want. They your parent and they love you.

I understand that kind of love. But what I don't understand was.... This kinda of love. This kinda of love who other than your family. The kinda of love everyone feels. I thought I was mature enough but I'm not. I didn't realise that I was taking a wrong step.

I cherish you. I smile for you. I defend for you. I worry for you. But what you did? You insult me, behind my back, with your friends. I've been called "opposite of gender" if you know what that's mean. They don't know that I was crying when I came back home. There's nothing with crying. If you a man, woman, girl, boy and kid or parent or grandparent ; doesn't matter. Cry doesn't show you are weak. That's mean you're strong. It make you realise something.

And I did.

I don't know why I had a crush on you. You probably not gonna read this. But I will never gave a damn about you. You are my past and will never mess my present and my future again. I'm still hurt. The pain still visible but slowly healing. I forgive you but I can't forget what had happen.

And know, I'm here. You already happy with someone. And I'm still here. Me. Not hoping for you to come back. Not hoping for you to notice me.

Not ever again.

I'm better off without you. You are the piece of me that I didn't need.

Thank you because you make me a better person. A better me. I learn a lot and it's all thanks to you.

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