Eulogies to the rock gods

Chris Cornell

May 19, 2017

You died two days ago. I had liked a few Temple of the Dog songs, but other than that I didn't really know or like much of your music. I just never gave it a chance, I was constantly wrapped up in my universe of Pearl Jam. So I don't know why it hit me so hard when you died.

I found out as soon as I woke up, on May 18 at 6am and bawled my eyes out for a good half hour. I didn't even realize I liked your music, until you were gone, that's the saddest part. So yesterday (which was the day I found out you died) it was all I listened to (and played on guitar). Your solo stuff, Soundgarden, Audioslave, Temple of the Dog, all of it. And it was all I thought about. It was always repeating in the back of my mind, "Chris Cornell died. He's gone. I'll never get to see him live. I took it for granted." To the point where I was so distracted I could barely focus on my schoolwork.

I just don't know why it affected me so much. Even my friends said I looked depressed.

There was this one time, about a little more than half a year ago, my parents offered me a ticket to go see Temple of the Dog with them. But that was before I was into grunge (sorry, I know you guys don't like the word grunge), so I refused the concert tickets and went to school instead. It's one of my biggest regrets in life now. At that time I didn't like Pearl Jam, therefore didn't know the story behind Mother Love Bone, so I didn't see the big deal in seeing Temple of the Dog. Now it's the only thing I want in life, to see you live.

It was just so abrupt, no one saw it coming.

I cry about every hour about you passing away. (Plus who's going to cover Mother Love Bone now?) I just feel really shitty for taking you and your music for granted. Now you're one of my favorite musicians, and I feel stupid for not having realized how great your music was and how much meaning it had behind it. You've done so many great things in your life, all your bands, your solo stuff, even acting like in "Singles" (which is, by the way, my favorite movie ever, partially because it had you in it). It's just a shame to see you pass away so soon.

Only a few months ago did I really start getting into the rock/grunge/Seattle music and I never got a chance to really enjoy all of it, especially your bands, so it just seems like you died way to soon. But the thing I'm confused about is why you killed yourself. Why you would leave everyone. And yes, I do get that anyone can be depressed (trust me, I know), but you had all this money, family, friends, fans, music which is your passion, people that were counting on you, and you just left them in a snap.

But even though you're gone, somehow it gave me an even bigger appreciation for your music. So I will always thank you for that and for the gift of your amazing music.

And I know that right now you're "Saying Hello 2 Heaven".

-Magda