Seconds of sadness

Chapter 12: the awaking

You're probably wondering why this is still going even though the creater of this book is dead. I haven't finished explaining my story, not at all. There are many more gruesome, horrifying and ugly stories that I need to tell you. It's not pretty, but why should I call it that to satisfy you? Exactly I should, I'm going to tell you the truth and nothing but the truth but I'm warning you, if you don't want to know how life really is for us stop reading. Because you don't want to lie awake at night thinking, what if this happens to someone I know? And you don't want to think of me every time you see a gravestone, I don't want you to. So again I'm going to warn you, this gets messy.

I'm going to start with Stacey. I didn't tell you what actually happened,did I? Well she payed me to tell you guys that she's an awful person, when actually she's an amazing person with a wonderful personality. She just didn't want it to seem like she liked me, but that can't matter now I'm dead. Stacey actually talked to me, she told me not to kill myself but I didn't listen I couldn't. Before I died I searched up on the internet how to kill myself and it came up with 'shoot yourself, hang yourself. These are the least painful' but I wanted it to be painful so that's why I jumped. It said it would hurt and that's how I wanted to go down. In flames, while everyone watched me. But I don't know what's happening now so I told sam to finish writing these all. I write the tiny fragments and sam explains the rest. I hope you enjoy. I have to warn you that life isn't perfect, and however anyone puts it. Either are you, you just have to deal with it and move on.

The funniest thing about this all is that, Ruby's right. No ones perfect including me but she missed out the fact that, you're not a bad person if you think you are. It just means you're not depressed. Even I can be sad sometimes, it's not that a big a deal. But ruby was seriously sad which made nick more mad. So he started to make ruby do things. Like "slip" down the stairs so there couldn't be joy in her life what so ever. It lead to brain damage. He was obviously bored of what was on tv so he decided to make his own tv show, Ruby's hurtings. He couldn't care less about how ruby felt, he just wanted to laugh at someone else's life for a change.

I can't stand thinking about it all. Ruby and death, they never really connected in my mind. But if that's what ruby wanted and thought she thought was best for her, I hope she now regrets it. Because I believe she's being punished by god for ruining the best thing about everyone: life. She's now in hell, rotting. Serves you right ruby, it should be against the law to Kill yourself, it's ridiculous how it's even considered to be allowed. I hate myself for not helping you, for not realizing what I had done to you. Why should I sit here I write about it, it's too late she's dead. Everyone needs to realize there's no hope, we can 'revive' her or something. She's dead and that's it, nothing can help her anymore. Not even me...

The other day I gave him a taste of his own medicine, I pounded him. I couldn't live with knowing ruby died because of this guy. I regret being too late to stop him. I regret not realizing before that he was going to do it. I regret it all so what ruby didn't expect was me to join her. I'm sorry that this has got very emotional, very quickly because goodbye readers of this depression book. Sam has left the 'building'. I hope to see you down there ruby. That's why I'm doing this. Ending it if you're not sure what I'm doing. I have plans, bad plans so that this is all over. All I have to do it wait, wait for the moment where I'm ready to finish it all and I'm not gonna lie, I'm ready now. Thank you for reading my words of wisdom, my pursue into the world of ruby. But trust me, keep reading. You'll need to if you want to find out. Find out about everything. Here's to the wind ones.

                              *************

Sam hung himself and his body was found in a bin near the dangerous parts of town with bruisers and deep wounds all over his body. Sam was a blessing sent to us by god. His skill, his determination and his braveness helped us stride towards great things. We will forever love and miss you sam, we all hope you lie there with ruby. As you wished for, RIP Sam and Ruby. We can't put in words how much we miss you. From your families that have nothing without you both. So it's finally passed to me, Tom. With the book to written my way, and if you don't like that it doesn't matter. Because I'm telling our mum about this all it can't go unspoken. I miss you Ruby and I would so what you wanted but what you wanted is not what you needed. What you needed bad, I'm not going to sprinkle this well, I'm telling you the truth and if so far you haven't been able to handle it. Trust me you won't handle this next part. But you have to start reading or this will become something it's not, a murder.