Is There Somewhere?

Cold Water - Conor Maynard (cover) & Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and the bit of Octaven I have included. Let me know what you think and I look forward to reading your comments! Sorry this update came so late! ~TGF

(13) Cold Water - Conor Maynard (cover) & Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra

Raven was in pain all the time. A deep, throbbing ache constantly accompanied her waking hours and kept her from sleeping most nights. She felt it during therapy and she felt it when Octavia insisted on massaging it for her like the doctor said. But the doctor had also said she would have to live with this pain forever. Raven wasn't so sure she wanted to.

She had been released from the hospital two weeks before, after a month spent bedridden with a mixture of intensive physical therapy. It had been a long, painful progression to get to the point of placing weight on her feet again. But Octavia was there every step of the way and Clarke too, when she wasn't caught up in her own personal problems.

Since Clarke had returned home to visit for her father's funeral for an undisclosed amount of time, it was just Raven and Octavia. That put a lot of pressure on Octavia because she had to work and take care of Raven, who had been given three months leave from her supervisor Jacapo Sinclair.

"Rae, are you ready?" Octavia called from down the hallway. Raven had rented out her apartment to a coworker who needed a place to stay while she recovered. She had ended up living with Octavia and Clarke, who would take care of her. There was little she could do on her own, but living with two other women was practically stifling. She hadn't seemed to notice it before, when she was only visiting and had her own place to get back to, but now she was going absolutely crazy.

It could have been a part of being unable to get around alone and being complete dependent on others. She couldn't walk down the stairs alone and normally had to be wheeled down in the wheelchair she'd been given at the hospital if she wanted to go anywhere. She was primarily stuck in this place, staring at the television and slowly feeling her brain go to mush.

Octavia emerged a moment later and drew Raven out of her depressing thoughts. "You alright there, babe?"

Raven nodded and managed a tight-lipped smile. Octavia was a godsend. Just like Raven had been there for her with Lincoln, Octavia was here for her now. But no matter how much Raven tried to be nice and accept the help she knew she needed and Octavia was willingly providing, she couldn't. Resentment bubbled in her chest and Octavia rose from the couch so easily and moved with such a grace that Raven hadn't noticed before.

Being disabled had completely turned Raven's world upside-down and she felt like her mundane life was slowly smothering her. Sometimes she couldn't even look at Octavia anymore, like when she tried to help her do her exercises. It was something she couldn't help and she hated herself for it.

She noticed the way Octavia looked at her sometimes, with sad eyes and a bit of confusion. There was also a tiredness to her eyes that Raven didn't like seeing and a slouch to her shoulders from the exhaustion taking care of another person caused. Raven knew that she was withdrawing into herself and that her doctors had told her specifically that she should not do that, but divulge her feelings to the person she loved. But she couldn't help it. It was so hard because nobody seemed to understand what she was going through.

"Raven," Octavia shoved her shoulder lightly and drew her out of her thoughts once again, a soft smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine, are you ready?" Raven glanced up at her girlfriend. She was dressed in a tight green long-sleeve with three buttons at the neck, two of them open to reveal a bit of cleavage. Her jeans were practically painted onto her body and her leather jacket was hanging over one arm. Octavia had opted for a simple ponytail and her glasses instead of contacts, she looked beautiful.