Is There Somewhere?

5: Drunk - Ed Sheeran & I Hate U, I Love U - Gnash & Olivia O'Brien

A/N: I don't think you guys are prepared for the amount of cheese that is in the chapter. I am just a huge cheese ball! Sorry, not sorry. I just hope you like it! I suggest listening along with I Hate U, I Love U because I literally wrote this chapter to that song on repeat. So yeah, enjoy. I am an awkward turtle, cheese ball! So let me know what you think. Too cheesy? Just right?

Clarke rushed into the bathroom before Lexa could respond. She didn't know what she was doing, but all of the repressed emotions she felt for the idiotic brunette were bubbling up. It felt like she was a roiling volcano full of emotional magma that was about ready to explode if any tectonic plates decided they wanted to move.

She rested her hands on either side of the porcelain sink of the single bathroom. She felt incredibly hot like she was about to have a serious panic attack—one she wouldn't be able to talk herself through. Quickly, she flicked on the faucet and splashed water on her neck to cool down her body temperature.

"Focus, Clarke. This isn't a big deal. Lexa doesn't matter. She's not important. You can get through this. No big deal." She ran her damp fingers through her hair before turning the sink off and pacing the length of the restroom. Her body still felt like it was on fire and her nerve endings were completely shot.

You've got this, she encouraged silently, before unlocking the door and exiting the bathroom. She moved so quickly back to her friends there were very few seconds to locate Lexa and she forced herself to not let her eyes wander.

Clarke arrived back at her seat to several concerned looks from Octavia and Raven, even though they didn't say anything. She ignored them, of course. "Sorry, had to use the bathroom. What'd I miss?"

"Nothing," Bellamy said cautiously and Clarke caught the worried look he shared with his sister, "we just ordered more shots."

With a sigh of relief, Clarke allowed herself to relax into the cushion behind her. "Good, I'm ready to get fucking wasted."

Bellamy's eyebrows shot up his forehead and another worried look crossed his features before he settled on a shit-eating grin, "Hell yeah, time for Party Griffin."

Nearly an hour later, Clarke was tossing back her...6th(?) shot of tequila. Her entire body was pleasantly warm and it was growing increasingly difficult to keep her eyes open. Raven and Octavia weren't as drunk as she was so they kept flashing her anxious looks that really put a damper on her attempt to be happy.

Clarke Griffin was never a depressed drunk.

Throughout the night, she'd noticed that Lexa was still there. They had chosen a seat that was barely concealed by the jutting of the rectangular bar in the middle of the room. But, Lexa was sitting back in her chair, long legs spread out in front of her with a beer in her hand more often than not.

Clarke could barely see the back of Costia's neck but Lexa had her arm around her chair. Every once in a while though, Clarke caught Costia leaning in close to her and whisper something in her ear. It sent a jolt of jealous heat into her stomach where it settled and festered like a disease.

"Next up we have...Clarke Griffin!" The DJ suddenly called from the stage.

Clarke's head shot up and a feeling of vertigo shuddered through her brain as she moved.

Raven grinned evilly at her confusion, "I signed you up earlier. I didn't realize you were going to get this fucking wasted though!"

Octavia laughed next to her when Bellamy moved and Clarke was forced out of her seat.