Mine (N.H)

22. The Feelings

The Feelings - Justin Bieber
"Am I in love with you? Am I in love with you?
Or am I in love with the feeling?"

NIALL

Not only my hands clutched the phone, my eyes fixed on the message in front of me.

My hands quiver. My heart, beating louder, faster and clearer in its designated home. I cant help it but cry over all the fucked up emotions that I went under.

My stomach churns as a result of copious amount of alcohol I had consumed. I ran my hands over my face and through my hair not once faltering away from what had shown up clearly on the well lit screen in front of me.

'I really really like you.'

A flimsy joy took birth on my lips in contrast to the excruciating pain in my heart.

A chill ran down my spine, my fingers fumbling through the alphabets on the keypad screaming; I love you too Annabelle... and was again quick enough to click on backspace.

Exiting the message screen, I clicked onto my bookings app and punching a few more words, I book a return trip to London.

My mind was still blur at her message, and I would never imagine her leave Michael for someone like me. A notorious idiot like me, not that I denied the fact Michael wasn't one. I anyways hated him from since he picked on the girl I had my eyes on. My girl.

My brain again reminds me of my past, with that one word : My.

I mentally slap myself from overthinking. Even though they cannot stop me from thinking how the syllable would sound from her gorgeous lips.

Annabelle Stewards, I love you. Cried out my heart.

Never could I imagine she would leave someone for me. For the person who was ignoring her messages for the past two weeks, left alone to digest her own breakup. The courage it takes to breakup when she didn't get any hints is massive. Or was she?

Again, I needed her to save me from this. This was risky and she was adventure!

~

ANNABELLE

He couldn't make it out of my brains.

My eyes were burning looking at the screen in front of me. Every inch of my body was tired, tired of all the bullshit I went under in the past week. I crossed the borderline that battled in my mind and showed immense courage with that one huge text message. And I didn't know how fortunate I was.

My mind raced back to the moments after the night I last spent with Michael.

My eyes were fixed on the celling above me. Michael's grip was tight on my naked body.

Somewhere deep inside, I knew I wasn't right.

The way I caught Niall stare at me, the way he caught my gaze at him too. The way our bodies connected while we hugged, running chills through the spine. The way he's queit pursed lips would cause me to chuckle.

The way skin burned as his hands brushed against me, towards my hips and shuddered at the loss of his touch. The eyes which always fills my heart with joy as well as curiosity.

When he neared, all my senses invaded into his sporty perfume, which was seized a bit by his sweat, and the perfect amount of alcohol that lingered in his breath. They all mixed up to give this intense innervation.

My mind was stirring with a constant feeling string of 'what ifs'.
What if I leave Michael for Niall?
What if Niall doesn't feel the same way?
What if I'm wrong with my thoughts that scream aloud in my brain saying he looks at you and likes you? What if Michael is the real guy for me?

I did feel a guilt creep over me for not telling Michael that I like him back.

My inner subconscious was a fan of Niall's deep Irish accent and his eyes of course. She could kill me if I didn't tell him that he was sexy and I was loosing it.

I looked at Michael, feeling horrible for having lied to him ALWAYS! I knew this relationship was about commitment and things I've never faced before back in Chicago, but my heart chose him every fucking time.

I guess the truth was I was in love with Niall and not Michael.

As decieving as it sounded, I knew it clearly that Michael wasn't someone I genuinely loved, he was someone I wanted to experience, duh British man!

All my med days when the actual hero was thrill and chase behind something you thought you could barely do and get into your uncomfortable zone,

"Seek out for situations that are uncomfortable for you and throw yourself into it"

Trust me, this was the real deal. I was this person. It was risky, but risky for the better to happen.

And I took the risk, hell yes!

Standing in the balcony, I stare out at how the night fell, the air was cold enough to bite me a layer of goosebumps as I pull my cardigan closer.

Turning myself towards my room, I saw the pair of light blue eyes I was used to seeing, everyday.

"Ann" she hands the mug of coffee and runs her hand through my back making me sit on the bed. "See listen. Why are you so gloomy?"

"Bruh no!" I dismissed her, causing her to look intently at me.

"Okay did he reply?"

I wish I was that fortunate. "No"

"Ugghhh" her current mood showed signs of vexation, causing my lips to let a faint chuckle. She did look cute. I'm being very honest right now. "How do you even like him bro?"

That made me laugh boisterously. "I don't know." What a smart reply Annabelle! In turn making Izzy to stare at me blankly.

"It's hard to understand him Izzy." I sighed. "I really have an inner feeling he likes me which are now shattering into pieces since the time he hasn't replied"

"Maybe there's some real issue?" She questions me with a skeptical look.

"But either he should be sharing it or at least letting me know he's okay" My voice suddenly raised in defense. I couldn't help it, if you'd ask me.

"Okay okay. Have you contacted his mate?" She takes a sip from her coffee. "Kevin I guess"

"Duh! Yeah" Rolling my eyes at her, I make it sound that it was obvious, and I ain't dumb at all. "He doesn't know it as well"

"I used to always think Niall was the reserved kinda guy" she lightly chuckles, and earning a mild scandalized look from me she turns back serious again. "Well, I still think he is" she laughs again, wilder.

I preferred silence, something which was preferred by Niall too, separating himself from the rest of the world. Walking back into the corner of the balcony where I'd spend every evening.

"Bro?" Izzy's worried voice interrupted the silence. "I was kidding man. Don't be so gloomy now, he'll be back"

"I'm fine on my own Iz" I gulped a good amount of air into my mouth, looking out, out into the night sky, wishing for the best to happen.

~

A/N : A bit small but the suspense has to stay alive so didn't mess around it too much. Make sure you are voting and commenting.

Niall and Annabelle finally recognised their love for each other but where could this go?
What are your thoughts now? Let me know :)

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