never let go

5.Eva

You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel.There are 7 billion people on this planet who I have not met, and 195 countries I haven't visited. Yet I am stuck in this insignificant town, being pressured into making decisions about my future, when I barely even know myself... Sometimes I don't even know who I am, there's...something wrong with me. I don't want to stay imprisoned within these four walls thinking and hoping for things that will never happen.

I don't want to live with my stepdad, Steve. He...sometimes hurts me and says that mum was crazy too that crazy runs in the family...I don't want to believe him but it explains why i can't control myself sometimes.

I make him sign a permission slip but he's more than happy as he won't need to deal with me for a week, well 5 days. I have double biology after a boring long lesson of English and I don't even understand what the hell Shakespeare was thinking when he wrote all his plays, it sounds like he was drunk.

Anyways, double biology. The lessons are extremely boring and I actually hate biology but it was either that or physics, don't get me started on chemistry, who actually has the bloody time to memorise the periodic table and physics is all equations and i'm no good at that so it was pretty much a one choice thing.

The new boy Nate, he's not like most football jocks, he isn't a total douchebag in other words. There's something about him that pulls me in, maybe its his deep dark blue eyes or his sexy jawline maybe his soft hair but on top if all that he's not what he seems.

I sometimes catch him looking at my direction and in my awkwardness, I guess I panic and have no control over my eyes. I turn to my left and Nate seems as though he wants to ask me something but looking at last time, he's probably too scared so I give him a smile and he smiles back and whispers 'hey..so are you going to that trip?' and I smile, feeling nervously excited and place the end of my pencil on top of my dimple and say 'yeah, are you?' and he eagerly says 'i'll go if you go...'