Chasing Rose

V: The Conundrum of the Groom

I run back to my room. Is this why he was so very stiff? He is in love with my servant girl and they are plotting to get rid of me! How- murder, finding some ground of relation, drawing up a decoy, elopement?

Perhaps... perhaps there is something I can do. If not to save myself, to save them. Do I truly desire this wedding, anyways?

The wind howls as I cover myself again with warm blankets. Yes. I do. And if it's for nothing else, I desire it for my comfort. 

But what of Jacob? For his father will surely not approve. 

They may be clever, Jacob and Aelis... but I think myself clever too.

*****

"Learn?"

"Yes," replies Lord Bennet. "The lady of the house must learn to read, to write, to handle simple numbers- her mind can't compute higher ones, obviously- if she wishes to be effective."

Jacob is the youngest son. I will never be lady of the house- rightly, Jacob shouldn't be marrying at all. He should be going into the church, for he has no inheritance, unless his father splits the manorial estate.

"Sir, I don't believe I shall ever become the lady of the estate."

"You have noble blood, you are fair- looking enough, and you are to marry my son- what compels you to believe you shall inherit nothing?" He stares at me quizzically, waiting, daring me to speak.

I accept his dare. "Your son Jacob has three elder brothers- which, I have learned from the staff, are all perfectly capable of ruling the manor. Why would your youngest son inherit it?"

Bennet turns from me and puts his hands behind his back, pacing. "Godric's mother was a Saxon. I did not ever love her and when she died giving birth to him, I felt much more free- the only Saxon legacy of hers is his name, unfortunately. I can denounce him of his legitimacy, which would forfeit both his inheritance and his descendants'. It is not a hard process, which is why I decided to marry you to Jacob now rather than later. Getting the records changed may annoy the record- keeper, but it is easy to scratch out a name.

"If Godric were... gone, it would leave Henry- who has less than godly ways. It would be easy and believable to banish him on account of some crime. He has a Norman wife, but he's always felt pity for the Saxons and frequently asks me to, ah, how does he say it? To give them a better life, I believe. A traitor, which alone could be grounds for disowning, which effectively ruins his unborn child's right to my manor. His wife has land, he can have that if he wishes.

"William is sickly anyways- it is a wonder he survives now, and it would be a wonder if he has any children. I married him to a little Welsh knight's daughter a year ago and she's young enough that if he dies in the next five years- which I am almost certain he will- she will be able to remarry easily.

"That leaves Jacob, Ida, and mind you- he's the strongest of my sons and has always been virtuous and charitable. He has also never had a treasonous thought in his life."

I resist the urge to snort. If Lord Bennet knew what his favored son had planned- or wished he did anyway- he would not be so quick to raise his standing.

"So you see now why I must have you learn to read and write?" He turns to me again, waiting for my reply.

Dumbstruck by his words- how could a man do that to his sons, if he is so lucky as to have so many?- I only can stutter. "Why did you tell me of this plan? Do you not worry that something will foil it?"

He laughs. "Who would foil it- you? No, you're an illegitimate peasant girl. This is your only chance at marriage that would benefit you, and your only chance at living for more than thirty years. Don't you want that? The rights and privileges that should rightly have been yours with your heritage... they shall not evade you if you go through with my plan."

His eyes bore into my soul. They are a clear blue, making me feel too vulnerable to say anything but the truth. "I told you because there is nothing you can do to stop it. Jacob will not object, I am certain. William may never know; he'll be dead too swiftly to even get such news. Henry will be happy to be released from responsibility. Godric may put up a fight, but I have superior resources. No," he murmurs even more softly, more reassuringly, "this plan is foolproof. I have told you of it because you are a powerless girl who has no choice."

"Surely," I respond, "surely I am not your only threat. I swear on my grave to hold your plan a secret, my lord, but others may not. Others may figure it out and try, and that is what worries me. Besides, what would happen if it were foiled- what if you failed to disinherit Godric, or William did not die?"

"Why does it worry you, daughter?" He comes close to where I stand and takes my chin in one hand. "Your comfort is in jeopardy if my plan fails, and you will have to give up the life of a lady to become a lowly weaver. It will not fail. You shall see it."

"Flatter yourself not, my lord," I whisper, uncomfortable with his hand on my skin. "I am not so shallow- minded."

Am I?

*****

My very mind is tired by the evening. Words are only markings, squiggles that someone decoded to give meaning. Why does the swoop downward on the left create a different sound than downward on the right? Why do my lines have to be straight, and the pen held a certain way?

I collapse into my bed after the meal, and when Aelis comes in with a candle, she seems both relieved and angry to find me in bed.

"My lady, are you feeling well?"

"I am only tired." I turn to her, propping myself up on one elbow. Quickly, I check to see if the door is closed- it is. "Aelis- I know of you and my betrothed."

Her fair face drops a shade. "I know not of what you speak," she stutters.

I smile gently. "I wish you no harm. I wish to keep it."

She shakes her head. "I do not understand. It was sin to begin it, it would be sin to continue it. You are to marry him and I mustn't interfere."

I sit fully up. "You won't. I'm going to do all of the interfering- I swear it!"

Her light eyes lift to meet my grey ones. "Tell me."

I know this is a while after it was promised, but I hope to get another update in on this book- or maybe I'll finish the section of Idyllwilde- before I leave on a church camp next week.