Trainwreck

Men Do Cry (BOY X AMBER)

WARNING: Mentions of death (I'm sorry)

Your POV

You walked stiffly in your black tuxedo, carrying the large casket above your shoulders with the help of those closest to you as you guide your mother to her final resting place. Everyone who was not carrying the casket gathered around her burial site, looking like a bunch of ravens surrounding roadkill. Your face remained expressionless, as if your mother did not pass away last week on the hospital bed in front of your eyes. The weather matched the people's emotions: cloudy, dark, cold. You finally reach the hole, slowly levering her inside. The weather, overwhelmed, finally let out rain, as if it were a drama, as if it represented everyone's emotions. The casket was placed 6 feet under, people begin to throw in white roses to represent how pure and happy she was but you, being the last one, threw in a black rose, her favorite. Minutes pass in silence listening to the rain patter and people's whimpers and prayers as the workers fill the hole that will now seal your mother before they left for shelter. You stayed there lingering, staring at the pile of dirt as if it would move, giving you an excuse to just dig it desperately and pry open the casket with your hands covered in dirt only to find her-

Your thoughts were ceased as you feel a small hand rub your back. You turn your head to the left to see your girlfriend/childhood best friend, Amber, dressed in a matching tuxedo looking at the mound of dirt. Your eyes linger on her for a moment before you look in front of you. Your dull eyes look down, thinking of how you and Amber would run away from your mother as she would yell at you two for stealing cookies before dinner. You feel a smirk coming but your face remained still. The two of you remained silent yet words screamed through your heads.

Amber chose to break it, intaking a breath, "I'm sorry-"

"I never understood why black was worn at funerals.... To set the mood? People labeled the color black as evil, sorrow, negative things without its consent. I wonder what it thinks, being labeled as something bad and being outcasted. Must be lonely...heh, it's not like it has feelings anyway" You quickly interrupted. You didn't mean to, but your mouth opened on its own, your empty mind letting out words you never thought.

You looked at Amber who was staring intently at you. You chuckle, "sorry for spouting some deep, meaningless-"

"It's okay to cry" She whispered. You expected to hear her joke along to lighten the mood, or say don't be and apologize even though she had no fault whatsoever but you didn't expect that. And that caused your expression to change, slightly.

"What?"

"Don't hold it in. Don't be afraid. Let it out. Cry, scream, throw objects and cause a fucking scene but for God's sake Y/N...don't hold it in. It's okay to cry" Amber gripped your shoulder.

The last sentence caused you to falter. When your mother was...alive...the number one thing she taught you was

"Do not cry Y/N...men don't cry"

You slightly gasp as you hear the most common phrase she would tell you when you were little. You let those words drill into your brain and you've never cried since your childhood. You taught yourself to "take it like a man" and follow all those stereotypical lessons until you met Amber. She taught you to rebel, to break those laws society created, to be free and do whatever the hell you wanted. And you did it, you ignored society's judgments and lived for yourself. That's what made you fall in love with Amber, she was fearless, strong, different. And you love her with all your heart but you would-could-never ever break the law your mother taught.

"I-I can't..." you mumbled, looking down, eyes narrowing.

Amber cupped her hands on your face, tilting your head up to meet her eyes. "Baby, Y/N...it's okay. Don't hold it in. Let it out. Cry your heart out, let your true emotions shine through, you know damn well your mother hates to see you fighting inside."

The mention of your mother clicked inside of you and you felt a rush course through your body. You started choking, as your chest became heavy. Your eyes burned and became blurry, your nose started running. You felt trickles down your cheeks and you slowly let your fingertips touch them. You looked at them and realized you were crying. All those emotions you held back for all these years came rushing towards you in one big tsunami. Your knees buckled and you expected to land on the ground but you feel Amber's arms hold you up as she embraces you. Your shaking arms wrap around Amber's as you let the emotions carry you, you begin crying out loud, the rain mixing with your salty tears as you reminisce the days with your mother. Amber continues to rub your back, not saying a single thing as she holds you.

After what seemed like hours, you break the embrace, your eyes and nose red and puffy. Amber gives you an encouraging smile, pecking your lips before grasping your hand and leading you inside with everyone else. You tighten your grip on her hand, following her as you are being led inside. Giving one last look at your mother's tombstone that had two black roses placed in front, you turn and continue walking. You watch the back of Amber's head and smile as the rain fades leading to a rainbow to decorate the once rainy sky, thinking how damn lucky you were to have Amber as a girlfriend.

Author's Note: jfc sorry for not writing I literally had a MAJOR writer's block and I've been so freaking lazy due to the extreme heat. You can tell I kinda rushed in the end because my creative inspiration was slowly fading so I pretty much slobbed on the last parts and sorry for it this oneshot to be super short lol but I still hope you enjoyed! Sorry for making it all sad and all but I was reading so much fanfic to get myself in the writing mood and I came across some old memories and characters and anime that I watched and I became so fucking emo so that's why it's all sad lol when I came across the stuff I literally cried and then I became pissed because I know it will be stuck in mY HEAD FOR YEARS NOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO FORGET AND ITS PISSING ME OFF I WISH I COULD FORGET THINGS UGH welp hope you enjoyed and see you next time~♡ btw no I do not proof my fanfics so of course you'll see many mistakes I can't help it I'm too lazy~