Lance Alone

Part 8 (Keith)

Eager to follow the Blue Lion towards Lance, the paladins eagerly ran towards their own ships. Wherever he was, he was probably in trouble--you couldn't throw a rock in this part of the universe without hitting someone worth trouble. Allura stopped Keith on his way to his zipline, eager to have a few words away from the other paladins. 

"Keith, there's clearly something bothering you," she insisted, "why did you blow up at the other paladins?"

Allura still felt uncomfortable talking to Keith ever since she treated him poorly when she found out he was Galra. Any friendship they would have from now on would always seem forced, like she was just trying to repair the rift she tore between them. Like she felt sorry for him, or had to treat him differently. But that wasn't fair, ALL of the paladins were different--and they were all family. 

"I don't see why everyone's being so nice about it. We made a promise that we were a team. Why does Lance think he's better than that all of a sudden?" 

Allura frowned--how did Keith not see it? "Lance didn't just leave because he felt like it," she explained, "Lance left because of you."

***

It was only minutes after Shiro's disappearance, and the team was still shaken from the battle. Keith's head was spinning with the thrill of a fight, of piloting their way to victory. But when they opened the Black Lion to see Shiro wasn't inside, his head started spinning a completely different way. Where could he have gone? Was he kidnapped? No, there's no way they would have been able to pull him out of the Black Lion. 

"We need to find Shiro. Where could he be? Where do we start?" Allura started turning on the ship's navigation system, but most of the power was shot. 

"Allura, you're exhausted," Keith said, "we all are. We need to rest." 

"But we can't leave Shiro! He wouldn't rest until he found us," Lance insisted. 

"We'll run ourselves ragged if we continue like this. Wherever he is, Zarkon's not there. He would understand." Keith insisted. "We won, for now. I'm going to rest. I recommend you all do the same."

And to his surprise, everyone did. The next morning, everyone was still buzzing with energy, but instead of being a panicked frenzy, they were attentive and alert. And to his surprise, they were attentive to him. 

You were right, Shiro, he thought, I guess I can lead. But I hope I don't need to for long; we'll find you. 

After a few days, Keith started to feel more confident in his leadership. But even as they couldn't find Shiro, everyone started to get restless. What if they couldn't find him? What if they had to move on--find a way to form Voltron without him? The leaders of the Blade of Marmora pulled him aside to talk in private--they couldn't wait until Shiro was found to bring Voltron back together. Someone needed to fly the Black Lion. And who better than Keith?

"You can't fly the Black Lion. That's Shiro's lion. Or have you already forgotten about him?" Lance was the first to argue when Keith brought the idea up to the other paladins. 

"I've been serving as the de facto leader of Voltron for a while now. Shiro himself said he wanted me to lead," Keith tried to argue. "The leader flies the Black Lion. Lance, you can fly the red lion." 

"Oh, I get it. This is a privilege, to fly the red lion. Because it's so much better than the blue lion," he rolled his eyes. "You think it's better just because it was yours!" 

"I don't know, maybe it is!" they butted heads, "What do you want, then?"

"What do I want? What makes you think I want something?" 

"Because you're Lance McClain, and you always have to be a special little snowflake. People always have to tell you that you did a good job. You're always seeking some kind of appreciation, some kind of attention. And just because Shiro didn't pick you to lead, you're taking it out on me. I'm trying to give you what you want!" 

Keith's voice echoed for a heartbeat after he yelled it, a heartbeat in which Lance seemed to shrink in size. He looked defeated, even  hurt. "I want what everyone else wants. I want Shiro back. I don't want the red lion." 

He turned away from the group, walking towards the hallway. Hunk tried to stop him, but he just batted his hand away. "Not now, buddy. I've... just got to be by myself now." 

And the next morning, he was gone.

***

"It's not my fault he was being difficult. No one else was complaining about the way I ran things," Allura's retelling of the story made Keith look like the bad guy. But that wasn't his fault. He felt like he did everything right by the team. 

"You were treating him different than everyone else," Allura said, "Did it ever occur to you that he just wanted to be needed?" 

"Of course he's needed. We're all needed," What a ridiculous thought. But Allura couldn't stall him anymore. He had work to do. Stepping into the elevator towards the lion bay, he managed to shut the doors before he could explain the real reason he wanted to give Lance the red lion: he needed someone he could trust, close by. He needed his right hand man. And as much as they argued, he knew that Lance would always be there for him. So why would he just go and abandon him the next day?