Loki sat on his bed in only his underwear, trying to find the will to stand, to shower, to eat, to do anything at all. He battled with a million monsters that clawed and bit at him, fighting their way to the surface before deciding he'd only find himself in his stash, intoxicating himself once again if he were to leave the safety of his cocoon. He was 4 hours sober and he was already shaking, nervously watching the walls crawl like little centipedes made them up, blending together to make one slithering shit of hell. He coughed, scaring himself back into his creaky bed frame. Shaking his head, the raven-haired man laid back against his covers not being bothered to pull them over himself as he was already sweating and he knew he'd wake in a blind determination looking for the only thing that made sense to him, no obstacle could stop that. His stomach twisted in pain and crunched together as though his insides were a handful of chips that had been crushed inside of him, as though his internal organs were that easy to manipulate. Blue eyes stared at the wall, pupils small and slightly shaking as he watched for insects or anything else that could be following all the centipedes. Shallow breaths escaped him as he picked at his forearm which was normally hidden away from the world due to the many scars that laid just under his sleeves. The door opened and his dark grey shirt was instantly pulled over the scabbing skin as though his instincts were faster than a flash of lightning.
A blonde boy stood straight as he stared into the room at the surrondings of the very frail male that could easily resemble a corpse. "Hey," the other began, his tone soft and welcoming yet his eyes suspiciously raked over the room before his warm gaze landed on the oddly pale man in front of him. "Mira wanted me to ask you to come along with us to the club," his roommate said timidly, awaiting the answer patiently. He knew how long it could take Loki to respond as his mind very easily caught itself in loops. Loki genuinely thought about the offer for a moment. He'd been to the club before, more often before he'd gained his addiction. The weight of his aching bones tied his body to the bed frame so he couldn't sit completely straight to make direct eye contact with Ashfree. The barely legal blonde tilted his head at Loki, who didn't move as he thought of all the possible things that could happen. Sure, he could probably get laid very easily but his sex drive was hardly present anymore anyway. The best he could do was get drunk but that would only feed another one of his many addictions. Something in him told him to go. Maybe it was the fact that it could distract him from his starvation from his demons, maybe it was fate but he decided to go, maybe it was just another excuse to use but he decided to go. And it was clear the mess of man couldn't do it sober. Thankfully, he had an instant cure to all the pain
The shaking man pushed forward, staring at the blonde before slightly nodding in agreement, making Ashfree beam. "We leave in about an hour," he smiled leaving Loki to get ready. Loki tried his hardest to ignore the stabbing pain in his stomach and the whirl it made with the slightest of movements until the other left the room. He scooted closer to the end of the bed but immediately keeled over, falling to the floor, smacking into the trash can before using all his strength to pull the flimsy plastic bin to shield his lips as his stomach instantly emptied what little food he was able to keep down right into the blue of the bin.
Loki sat still, lifeless not wanting to get up as every single part of his body dragged him to the ground, screaming for release. His eyebrows knitted together, his head exploding with the feeling of a hundred punches to the brain as he forced himself into a sitting position, holding his hand to his stomach as he grimaced in pain, curling against his own hand for support. For a while longer, he stared into nothingness, waiting for the feeling to at least subside a little. When it didn't happen he decided it was because it never would. So he gave in and attempting to stand, only to slip forward just barely grabbing the door handle that lead into the pink and beige bathroom, using the handle as leverage to pull himself up. He leaned heavily against the door, moving forward no more than a few steps before sitting on the ground next to the two light brown cabinets and pulling the left open, revealing the mess of drugs and the sticky brown area under the bags of needles and heroin. To anyone else in the world it may have looked disgusting, awful but in that mment it simply looked to be heaven. He sighed heavily, hatred for himself not evident as the only thing he truly held onto stared back at him, beckoning him, promising the relief he so badly needed. He picked a needle up in his fingertips, even though the needle wasn't sanitary in the least as it had ripped through the bag and had more than likely touched the filthy black bottom of the cabinet. He still decided there wasn't time to dwell over it, grabbing a small pouch that was filled with heroin.
He stood up, standing over the sink, catching sight of his reflection. It was horrid to see really. His skin had become extremely pale to the point blue tints could be seen from his veins, his bones stuck out in places they never had before, his collarbones protruding showing under the collar of his shirt, and his eyes sunken in. Yet none of it took away from the fact that the man truly was beautiful with his thick but ruly eyebrows, chiseled jaw, and full lips though they were slightly chapped. He jumped as his phone rung loudly in his pocket, being pulled from his daze. Hesitantly, he picked it out with two fingers almost as though afraid to touch it. His pointer finger and thumb whitened against it as he picked it up using the pinky from his other hand to press the green icon that glowed brightly to force his attention. "Hello," he heard a couple inches away from his face, not wanting to press the sweaty, dirty thing to his ear. "Yes," Loki said simply, leaning forward against the counter not having the strength to hold himself upright any longer. "Ah.. Mother and Victor wanted you to come over for a 'family' dinner," his brother's voice said making sure to drop extra sarcasm on the word family. The teen laughed, slightly high pitched and flowing. Loki only listened to his brother's laughter for awhile until his tone got more serious. "They have something they wanted to tell you and well..." His laughter rose up again, light and wonderful. "You've blocked both their numbers," he squeezed out. Loki sighed, only thinking twice about attending because his brother had never liked Victor, their so-called stepfather. He absolutely hated being forced into situations where it was only him and his 'parents'. If not for Loki's self-induced addiction, he would have immediately agreed but he didn't. He stayed so silent for so long that his brother thought the phone line had gone dead. "Loki," he questioned. "Ye-yeah. Yeah, Lance. I'll try. When is it?"
It would have been easy to tell Loki didn't want to go even if he didn't sound exhausted and sick. His brother knew him so well and could easily see through any facade the man put up.
His parents only lived half an hour away. What could possibly be the problem with a little visit? Possibly Loki's pending death and constipation, his many scars he'd have to hide, and the shakiness in his hands that made it impossible to pick up a pencil much less drive. "Its Friday, be here by seven," Lance informed and in the background, he could hear Victor yelling at their mother once again. A feeling of absolute rage bubbled up in his chest but was quickly smothered by a sluggishness that left him even more slumped over the counter.
"Please be here," Lance's voice begged quietly, saying it more as a question. "I'll try," Loki informed him, wondering if he could pull the work card on his own brother. His brother hung up immediately after so Loki simply dropped his phone on the counter.
He gave his attention back to his bag of ingredients for disaster and sighed, reaching towards it as he always did.
