When Stars Fall [EBOOK and PAPERBACK PUBLISHED]

15. Ellie - Present Day

We eat at a food truck that sells locally caught fish on a bun. Sitting on top of a picnic table on the side of the road, we have an ocean view. Being with him is normal and surreal. Ten years stretch between us, but each year is a moment, not a pattern of days. Those years should matter, make it hard to connect, to understand, to feel close, but they've fallen away as though they didn't happen. Without Haven as evidence of their passing, I might believe we could pick up where we left off without missing a beat. Every time I glance at him, my heart aches or races, sometimes both. I can't get my bearings.

"What are you doing after this week?" I take a bite of my sandwich.

He dusts off his hands, having eaten his much faster than me. "I have a couple things to check on and take care of in L.A., then I start a promotional tour for Sixty Seconds to Live." His elbows rest on his knees, and he plays with his sandwich wrapper, bouncing it between his hands.

The promo material for Sixty Seconds to Live has been everywhere. I check my watch, conscious of school ending soon. I need to pick up Haven.

"What do you have at three?"

"I'm picking up Haven from school." I hope I sound like a wonderful aunt and not a concerned mother.

"Nikki seems like she's doing a good job with her. Haven has a great sense of humor." He smiles.

Before I can talk myself out of it, I say, "She's been asking about you. Did you want to stay and have dinner with us?"

Wyatt's eyebrows go up and then a slow smile blooms. "Yeah. I'd love that." His hand flexes around the wrapper. "You taking her back to Nikki after dinner?"

"No." The truth. Now what? "She'll stay at mine tonight."

He nods. "It must be hard for her, being a single parent."

My lies of omission are just as bad as confirming his ideas, but I can't bring myself to lie outright. Single parenting is hard, and Nikki does bare the brunt of that a lot when I'm on a movie set.

"Where's the father?" He meet my gaze, his eyes searing me with their ocean depths.

A completely normal question for him to ask, but the color drains from my face, and my stomach rolls. "Not in the picture." I tear myself away from his piercing gaze.

"That's too bad." Wyatt juggles the wrapper from one hand to the other. "I can't imagine having a kid and not wanting to be involved."

When we were together, kids were an abstract thing for me—something for someday. The day I peed on that stick and saw the positive test result, I had a mini-panic attack. Immediately, I booked myself on a flight back to the island to have my mother confirm I was, in fact, pregnant. A long chat with Nikki and my parents about my options ensued. Remembering those days causes a spike of anxiety. I was so lost and unsure. When the lines on the stick appeared, my heart understood I wouldn't be able to keep Wyatt and the baby. At that time, the two didn't go together.

"You think you'd be a good dad?" My voice catches. Has his attitude toward kids and parenting changed? His relationship with his mother and father was fraught with animosity. In the three years we were together, I never met them, but I heard a lot about them from him and Anna.

"I'd sure as hell try, Ellie. My parents were such a disaster that I don't have very good role models. But Tanvi, and Isaac's dad, Kabir were great parents. What happened to Isaac wasn't from a lack of love and care." Wyatt squeezes the wrapper in his hand.

"Did you ever tell Tanvi what Isaac told us?" I keep my voice low in case anyone around us is trying to listen in.

"No. What would be the point? She can't change the past. It was too late. I felt guilty for a long time."