My College Professor (R.S.L)

Chapter 14

I thought a permanent frown would be etched onto my face after I had broken things off with Ross. I truly believed that I would walk around life with my lips tilted downwards, my heart in two as I imagined what my life would have been with Ross. But the moment Ross and I agreed to start over with no more secrets and lies between us, my frown turned into a smile.

Now, I was almost positive my smile would remain. 

We still had that strong connection between us, but because of what happened with his soon to be ex wife, (she had yet to sign the divorce papers) he kept a small distance from me. Yes, we kissed and hugged whenever we were alone and out of sight from wandering eyes, but the physical contact was minimal. Before, he would always touch me without thinking twice. Now, I could see the hesitation in his eyes as he debated whether or not to wrap his arm around my shoulder or waist. 

I appreciated the restraint he had, but also longed for his intoxicating touch. I felt so frustrated with myself that the urge to shove my face in a pillow and scream was strong. I knew jumping right back into things wasn't the best move, but that didn't mean I enjoyed not having him so close to me. 

When I told Lexie that we were back together, she smiled almost knowingly, like she expected it. Then came the tackle. I should've expected that. 

"What about Violet?" She had asked, scrunching her nose up in distaste as she uttered the wife's name. "I haven't even met this women and I hate her." 

"Ross said he'll talk to her and make her sign the divorce papers." I had replied, hugging my pillow close to my chest. 

That was a week ago. He did talk to her, but she refused to sign the papers, once again proclaiming her love for him. The frustration in his eyes was clear when he told me this, and the only thing I could do was squeeze his hand. I didn't now what to say. I mean, what could I say? 'Can you threaten her into signing them?' Yeah, that wouldn't end well. 

Because she refused to sign the papers, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. How long would she try to get Ross back? He had made it crystal clear that he wouldn't be taking her back, yet she couldn't see it. She was absolutely delusional. 

"What happens now?" I asked, watching Ross from my spot on the couch as he cooked dinner. I hugged my knees to my chest, resting my chin on my knee cap. 

He let out an audible sigh, spinning around so his back made contact with the kitchen counter. "I have to talk to my attorney. There's nothing else I can do. I gave her notice, I told her what was going on, and now I'm done. I just want this to be over." He ran a hand down his face, clearly distraught. "I'm sorry, Erin. I know this isn't fair to you." 

"I understand, though. Divorces aren't east." Especially with a bitch like Violet. "Let's just put this behind us for now, okay? Just focus on us."

Despite his slight hesitation, he nodded, giving me a faint smile before getting back to work, the delicious aroma of salmon filling the air. Dinner was enjoyed in comfortable silence, neither one of us wanting to break it. I could tell his mind was running a mile a minute, his eyes slightly glazed over as he ate. I was worried about him, hating what this divorce was doing to him. Hating what Violet was doing to him. 

As I got ready to leave, the sun already setting, Ross grabbed my wrist. I turned to look at him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. "You okay?"

He nodded, releasing his hold on my wrist as he bit his lower lip. "I know we just got back together, but do you want to, uh, stay the night?" As I opened my mouth to respond, he quickly added, "You can obviously say no, but I thought since tomorrow's Sunday," he gave a hopeless shrug. "I just miss you, Erin. We're together, but I still feel like we're apart. I swear, if you want me to sleep on the couch and you take my bed, I will. I just want to be with you."