Finding Him

Chapter 2

Promise

I love the rain, including the process right before it all happens. I don't know, just gazing into the clouds as they slowly turn darkish gray and hearing the splatter of tiny droplets of water hitting against my window has such a calming effect on me. As I watched as the water slowly wash away the sins of the world, that's when my mind wanders to different places, and begin asking myself series of random questions. Like if babies are just born evil? Think about it. Sometimes we can't blame the parents when the child goes horribly astray, because at the end of the day it all depends on whether or not the child will take what they learned (in this case, let's hope that the parents taught them how to be good, non-judgmental human beings) and apply it in their own lives.  

Right now, it's raining harder than usual; with flashes of lightning illuminating the sky and thunder booming all around us. The winds howled tremendously, threatening to knock down anything in its path. The sky was so dark that it caused the sun to take shelter behind the clouds.

Bleak and depressing. This weather perfectly describes my mood as of right now even though it feels like we are in the middle of a tornado, we still are being forced to attend school. Actually, it's the first day of school today. First day of officially becoming a senior as the same shitty high school I unfortunately had to attend for the last two years. Whoopee. 

Nothing important is supposed to happen today. Just the same tasteless introduction on meaningless crap, like how "exciting" the new school year would be, who our new teachers would be, etc. Then they would end the speech by cheerily stating that "This will be the best four years of your life. Don't take it for granted. And have a SPECTACULAR day!"

"The best four years of our lives" my ass. I haven't even been here for four years, yet I'll still give this school a 4.5 out of ten. I added three extra points because the food here doesn't taste that bad. 

I turned to ask my mother for the third time today if I really had to go school. But before I even opened my mouth to complain, she gave me a lecture on how school is important, and that I shouldn't even consider skipping one day of it unless I am so sick to the point where I am dying. Then she proceeded to tell me how lucky I am to have the luxury of going to a free public school while kids in third world countries struggle to make it to school for numerous reasons, including terrorism and war. So, I guess I have to go.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

It normally takes us five to ten minutes to get to there, but because of the bad weather and my mother's ability to drive in it, we were running almost thirty minutes late. I probably missed the introduction speech by now. Not that I am complaining. 

As my mother struggled to drive against the heavy winds, I stole a quick glance at her. Just examining her face.

People would always tell me how beautiful she was. She used to be a on a track team from freshman year in high school all the way to college, so her body was firm and toned in all the right places. Even though she was the shade of the night sky, she was still seen as a rare beauty. Men would ogle at her as she walked down the street, my mother would recall. But all of them were too scared to ask her on a date. Well, most of them. We shall keep this man anonymous because the bastard doesn't deserve to be acknowledged.

My mother was sitting in a cafe one day with all her girlfriends, when all of a sudden this strange man came up to her table, dressed in all blue from head to toe. Blue suit, blue tie, blue socks, blue shoes. The fool even had on a blue fedora! Who the hell did he think he was? Looking like a damn blueberry.

Anyways, he just laid his number on his table and told her, "I expect a call from you by 7 pm". Then he tipped his fedora and walked away without even saying goodbye. What a gentleman. But my mother unfortunately fell for his charms. I guess she was so accustomed to men kissing her feet and treating her like a goddess that it got boring for her. So when this random man pulled out the "playing hard to get" trick, it got her attention. 

And it worked. She called.

Then that's when the snowball of destruction started. A year and two months later, my mother got pregnant with me and he was right there by her side, feeding her head with empty promises of a bright future together. She believed them.

He left soon after I was born.

Looking at her now, I can see the stress of raising a child alone and working two part-time jobs to pay the bills all over her once youthful face. Permanent worry lines riddled all over her forehead from sitting and waiting for years for her prince charming. Sadness forever in her eyes as she finally came into realization that the only man she has ever loved won't ever come back. And that sadness turned into anger as she took out her pain on me, a young child who didn't know about the situation, that the reason why mommy was so mad all the time was because she had her heart broken. Throwing insults at me left and right as if I was the one who hurt her. One day, I asked her what was wrong, what happened to her that made her this way. Then she broke down and told me the story about the past and how it was all ruined when she met "the bastard". And that's how my habit of 'fixing' people. After seeing my mother, I just want to help everyone who is going through some stuff. I want to practice being as selfless as possible.

As my eyes roamed the worrisome features of her face, I made a silent promise to myself: to never date those bad boys who treat you like shit just because they're "hot" or "interesting". Bad boys are exactly that; they're bad. There's nothing sexy or thrilling to be treated like you're nothing. I refuse to repeat my mother's mistake.

I was snapped out of my daydream and realized that we already arrived. I saw hordes of students with umbrellas, running to the doors before they close. 

I open my door, took out my umbrella and got out the car. Before I closed the door, I faced my mother one last time. To my surprise, she was staring right back at me with a small sad smile painted on her face. As if she was thinking about the past as well. Pain gripped my heart as I wanted to desperately hold her and say that it's okay, that it wasn't her fault that he left, that she still was beautiful and strong. But over the years, our relationship became strained; we grew too far apart. I'm pretty sure she would push me away or hug me awkwardly back if I did attempt to do that. So I just smiled back at her, closed the door, and as I headed towards the main entrance I mentally prepared myself for the day ahead. 

Senior year, here I come.

---- End of Chapter Two--- 

Twitter: awechillvibe

Instagram: theweirdblackchick

Please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW and PROMOTE. Thank you :)