I live in this small town kind of out in the country, we are also kind of poor so I don't own a phone. During the school year, I only have 2 close friends, Sarah and Taissa. They are good friends. I have a crush on Taissa but I haven't told anyone because my dad is not LGBT+ friendly and I haven't come out of the closet. I'm gay I just don't say anything, when anyone asks if I like someone I just brush it off with generic answers. Honestly, I feel like people would think I'm gross or just a disgrace to them. I really haven't gotten the time to ask my friends if they were LGBT+ friendly. So I keep myself inside and say as less as possible. I also get beat at home, my dad swings between trying to be kind and friendly to beating me black and blue. Only in places, no one can see of course because of his drinking problems.
We both walk into Steak n' Shake hoping that we looked nice enough and had enough money to afford the food. We both sat down at a table as a waitress walks towards our table with bright red lipstick and basic eyeliner. I thought to myself 'I wish I had makeup to look beautiful like her'.
"What would you guys like to drink?" she asks as she obnoxiously chews her gum. "Yeah, um I want a water with lemon," my dad says as he checks her out. Ever since my dad left my mom, he's just been hooking up with girls, never settling down. It adds to my worry. I looked at my dad with a disgusted facial expression. "I just want a water, please."
She walks away and after a long, awkward stretch of silence my dad asks, "What are you getting Emily?" I stumble over my words, answering quietly "I don't know". It took me forever to think because I get these bad headaches and I know my dad won't do anything about it. It's probably another sign of my being insane like my mother. I was also zoning out about Taissa, with her dirty blond hair and cute smile and complex Hazel eyes.
"Well hurry up Emily it has been like 15 minutes of wasted time." I apologize, but he answers back with a frustrated sigh, telling me to just get a salad. We get done with our food within an hour, half of that time him flirting with our waitress. It's late at night, half past nine o'clock. The drive home is quiet, neither of us wanting to make conversation. When we arrive home I go directly to my room, praying my dad doesn't drink tonight but knowing it's false hope. I grab my computer and sit on my bed, watching my favorite show, American Horror Story.
After an episode, I realize I left my door open a bit and so did my dad, who's room was just right around the corner. I can hear him opening another bottle and see him drinking away. I get more nervous and start to play with my bracelets that Taissa gave me. I can hear him repeating 'no' over and over again. I close my computer and run to his bedroom door. Standing there watching him drink more and crying like crazy. "Dad stop! I'm here, it's okay please stop drinking the fucking alcohol! It's unhealthy for you."
