IRREDEEMABLE

IRREDEEMABLE/ Thirty-One

IRREDEEMABLE/ Thirty-One

(Ashley)

                               It was the end of May…soon we would be graduating, and moving on. Sat there, head busted as hell- my parents wouldn’t be there to see me walk down the aisle, and collect my diploma. Despite all the mess that I had been goin through my whole senior year, I still had maintained a B+ average. A couple of times I had thought about telling Auntie the truth- that I was selling for Husky, to bail Raheem’s ass out of trouble, but I knew she wouldn’t have taken it too well. Besides, it was the end of the school year- I wasn’t gonna have to do it anymore. Husky had a boy over there named Freddie Blass, who was taking over.

                               “So…you’re goin to college out of state, hunh?” Rosario asked. I glanced to her, as she sat on the train platform with me. The way the sun was setting on her hair made it shimmer, and her face glowed…but it couldn't hide the sadness that was etched. “Wish I could go with you,”

                               Since March, I had gone out with Rosario on a “date” twice, and I had fucked her again at my place. I guess not having someone(Katelyn) around, I needed Rosario to keep me sane. I smiled at her, as I reached out, running my fingers through her hair…did I like her? Yeah, but it was now time to move on…our time was up.

                               “You made it,” I said. “And you finally started to get along with your dad. I’m happy for you- you finally get to have the one thing that I don’t have…a family,”

                               She looked to me. “I know you don’t like to talk about it- the past. It’s just…when you came back from Connecticut in November, you were colder than usual, and I know…it was something that had to do with your parents, right?”

                               I looked away.

                               “It’s obvious by know, that even though we aren’t going to go any further than what we had, I care about you, Ashley. You don’t have to keep this all bottled in- you can talk to me,” she said, with concern.

                               I glanced to her again, and gave a slight smirk. “I know,”

                               I took a hold of Rosario’s hand, as she laid her head on my shoulder…at least until her train came. Now that school was over, I wouldn’t see her anymore…now that school was over, I had to move on, which meant moving from Auntie’s house, to a place of my own. I had been on the phone with some realtors in Connecticut about getting something, after looking at a few properties around UConn. I had gotten my ball skills back, plus my stamina and speed…I had been going to this therapist, and had been spoon feeding him stuff, like I was trying to make progress with my life. It was all coming together- if I had survived Senior year, then I could survive living by myself, and trying to assimilate back into the real world.

                               If Mom and Dad could see me…

                                                             *

                               I stepped into the house- it was six o’clock.

                               “CONGRATULATIONS!”

                               My mouth dropped open, as the family had come out of their hiding places. Auntie, Mr. Johnnie, Aunt Bernice, Jaleeah- all of them, had I guess been planning this “party” for me for a hot minute. I felt like a proverbial teddy bear, as they all had given me hugs- cept for Mr. Johnnie; he gave me some dap. I stood there, slightly befuddled…Auntie had tears running down her eyes. “We are all so proud of you Ashley. There were a lot of times where I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it…but you kept it together and here you are- graduating high school. You parents would be so proud of you,”