Yours

My feet burries in the snow with every step I take. Although it's freezing outside and everything is covered in white, my body feels hot and my face is burning, my forehead sweats but nothing of that stops me from putting my grey gloves on and adjusting my black beanie on my head.

I begged to go outside. My aunt didn't let me, saying that my fever was really high and that I will pass out but I didn't care. I need to talk with him. I can pass out only after I see him. My aunt insisted a milion times to come with me, I said no. I need to do this alone.

I groan. My body feels as if I just gained 10 pounds more, making it difficult to move quickly as I want. I see my cold breath in the air so I cover my mouth with my white scarf, the fabric feels soft against my lips.

I wish I have never opened my mouth to say those words, those words that made him stumble backawards when he was about to kiss me and his arms to drop to his sides. I remember how his relaxed expression changed to one of confusion. He asked me what did I say and I repeated it, so clear and loud that the words pierced my heart as well as his. His bright brown eyes became gloomed with sadness as the words were clearly heard this time.

I regretted it the moment I saw his eyes fill with tears but none of them slid down his cheeks, he held them, it was hard for him not cry, I knew it. He blinked three times and his hands flew to his hair, pulling it.

"Why?" He asked, stepping closer to me. His cologne leaked my nostrils.

"You heard me." My feet moved backawards and I looked at the floor.

"Leah...please..." He sounded hurt. His hand reached for mine but I removed it away in order for him not to grab it.

"Don't." I said walking past him to go to the window. I looked outside as I crossed my arms over my chest. Snow was falling everywhere.

"But I...I don't understand. Give me a reason cause I can't believe what you said." He was behind me now. I could feel the warm irradiating from his body to my back.

"Just go, Greg." I closed my eyes. His arms wrapped around me but I stood still. "Leave." I felt as he planted a kiss on my shoulder and I opened my eyes. "Please."

In an instant, he turned me around. My eyes opened big and my mouth parted slightly. We were looking at each other right in the eye. A single tear managed to roll down his face. He held me tight and leaned in, my hands stopped him by placing on his chest and pushed him but not enough tp be completely free from his arms.

"If that's what you really want..." He trailed off while he caressed my left cheek with his thumb.

I didn't say anything as we stood there for a minute staring at each other. I gulped and turned my head so I wasn't looking at him anymore but at the carpetened floor. His hand left my cheek and I watched as his feet turned around, the sound of his footsteps leaving the room were heard, then the door was closed. Everything was silent.

I left my knees get weak and fell on the floor. I dragged my body to the window frame, my hand grabbed the white curtain to pull it aside and my head raised above the frame to look outside. I saw as he walked away from my house, away from me. His dark hair was being blowned to a side due to the strong winter wind and his hands were inside his jacket pockets. I watched until he dissapeared in the distance. It was as if he was dissapearing from my life.

It was almost a month since that happened and since then I haven't been sleeping well, I've been thinking about him every day and night, since I wake up and until I fall sleep. But no, not even in my sleep my mind is away from him. I dream about him, about the way his hazel eyes sparkled when he looked at me, about the way his warm arms embraced me tight, about his sweet and pinkish lips, how perfect they felt against mine, how he kissed me with need, passion and love.