Missing My Dad

Gone With The Wind

"What?" Chamilia said with a surprise look on her face as if she had forgotten to do something. Her heart began racing and racing. Like one of those marathons on the sports channel that you would normally walked in at your grandparents. The news to her wasn't the type of news she had in mind. Chamilia was hoping to hear that her dad was doing well and that he will be released from the hospital. But that wasn't the case. From then it gotten really quiet. The only thing she was able to hear was her mother crying. " I can't believe what I'm hearing. My dad is really gone. This isn't happening. They promised us that they would try to keep him alive mama. Why didn't they try hard enough?" She said with raged as a big tear drop slid down from both of her eyes down her cheeks. Holding the bunny in her hands tightly as she pulled it up closed to her and began crying softly into the bunny. " They did all they could Chamilia. It was nothing else they could do to help him and I'm sorry Chamilia. He is in a better place now." Looking at us from above." " I want him here! Can't you see that. Stop trying to make me feel better when nothing is going to help me feel better. I get he is in a better place but why now? Why so soon? I prayed and prayed and prayed for dad to get well. I don't even think God got my message." Chamilia said back to her mom. She didn't quite understand why her dad time was up. It wasn't that she was trying to question God, she just wanted to know the reason why he passed away. Her dad was the reason she was actually into a lot of things. She enjoyed the things are father did with her and talked her. It was never a time when she thought the things her dad did that she couldn't do. He taught her how to ride a horse, mow the grass, feed the animals at her grandparents farm, paint, fishing anything you can think of that comes in mind her dad taught her all. Her mom wasn't much into things her and her dad was but she did however, loved a few things. Chamilia mom mostly taught her laundry, ironing, washing dishes and cooking. The main important things a young lady like her should know about. So when she get older she can pass it on to her kids and the generation will continue from there. Chamilia didn't want to talk anymore so she got up from her bed and went outside on her balcony to talk up to her dad. " Hey Dad. I miss you already and it hasn't been 24 hrs since you passed away, but I feel like it has. I don't know what to do now that your gone away for a long time. There are going to be moments when I'm going to start have Deja vu, especially when I'm only thinking of you. i sometimes wish the good times we had together last longer than it did. I'm not saying I'm upset with god about you passing, I feel as if you deserved just a least one more day to live. Your guidance and love will always be with me. Thinking of special memories with you will always put a smile on my face. No one will ever be you dad. If only I can have you back for just a while, Then we could sit and talk again. Just like we used to do. You have always meant something to me and now you will forever mean something to me. The fact at you're no longer here  will always cause me so much pain inside. But you are forever in my heart until we meet again. I love you dad with all my heart. Goodnight. Sweet dreams." Chamilia said as she blew a kiss up to the sky and walked back inside her room slowly with her head down. She went by her window sill and sat there in front of it with her elbows up against the window pane. Looking at the night sky. Dreaming of images of her dad. It made her even smile a bit just by her doing that. She always had a thing for imaginations and was really great at picturing things that are not there with her. Who knew her mind would be so powerful the way it is at just 16 years old. She grabbed her Pokemon pillow, blanket and her stuffed bunny and laid her head down softly closing her eyes and falling sound asleep. She knew her dreams where going to start having images of her dad it and she had no problem with them being that way. As long as she had a piece of him with her that is all that matter to Chamilia. Chamilia was more of daddy's girl than she was a mama's girl. Only cause she growing up she was always around her dad and spending time with him. When her mom wasn't stable at the time to help raise her. That made a huge impact in chamilia  life. Now that her father is no longer with them its her mother's turn to have a close bond with her just like her dad did. Her mother wasn't sure how that was going to work out but she had a feeling it will take a long time for Chamilia to get use to. Even though, she can't do the things that Chamilia did with her dad but she could try to come up with things of  her own. She know her daughter will enjoy. A mother can only try her best to make her kids happy. With Chamilia is completely different. It isn't easy for her to heal like others can in her family. She has to find her own way to heal. There will be a time and a place for it. Until then she doesn't want to heal.